NO NEED FOR WEED HERE IN HIGHLANDS RANCH

Voters in unincorporated Douglas County will decide this week whether
to allow new medical marijuana businesses into areas such as Highlands
Ranch.

Douglas County commissioners chose to put the question to voters, 21
percent of whom are registered Democrats. In other words, it ain't
happening.

This approach should protect the county from lawsuits that might've
resulted from a non-voter-approved ban. We'll see whether someone sues
the cities of Castle Rock and Parker for blocking pot through town
council votes, rather than putting it to the people.

The newly established Douglas County cities of Lone Tree and Castle
Pines North are also leaving the issue up to their mostly conservative
voters on Nov. 2.

I admit I'm a bit of a hypocrite on this issue. It seems hundreds of
doctors and thousands of patients are making hay with weed before
voters declare the party's over.

I admit I don't really want to see these operations opening in my
master-planned community. Partly because they haven't figured out how
to dress up their storefronts. Enough of the neon marijuana leaf
glowing in the barred front window. It just looks trashy, like the
form of a naked bimbo on the sign of a topless nightclub, or the giant
letters "Adult Book Store" on the roof of a porn shop.

According to state figures, the average age of the 31,000 legally
registered patients is 40, a suspiciously high 74 percent of whom are
male. Gee, do you suppose these guys experimented with weed in their
youth, or is my generation of men just that achy and
open-minded?

Why not model medical marijuana shops after bright hygienic eye doctor
clinics, upscale salons or one of those Cherry Creek boutiques where
you get your teeth whitened? Sleek modern furniture and artwork.
Clean-cut employees without scads of visible tattoos and body piercings.

Spotless presentation might give cannabis clinics a shot at leasing
space alongside the chiropractors and orthodontists of Highlands
Ranch, but I believe it's clear after last February's federal raid on
accused home-grower Chris Bartkowicz that residential-based grow
operations and dispensaries are not the way to go.

You can't blame a guy for trying. Bartkowicz says he believed he was
within his legal rights to grow pot. After all, the Highlands Ranch
Community Association website says home-based businesses are allowed
as long as there is "no external evidence" or "unreasonable
inconvenience to neighbors."

Of course cannabis cultivation wasn't legal in Colorado when the
Highlands Ranch covenants were established. Back then the thought of a
home-based business was likely limited to piano lessons and mowing
grass, not growing it in our guest rooms.

When the first families settled amongst the prairie dogs and once
prevalent pronghorns back in 1981, no one imagined voters would make
dispensing medical marijuana a protected pursuit in the year 2000. Our
forefathers could not have foreseen such a development; they were too
busy thinking about the kind of developments that earn revenue, not
reputations. Zoning laws may need to be updated.

There are reportedly some existing medical marijuana businesses
operating in unincorporated Douglas County, and they might be happy to
have new competitors kept off their turf.

The Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment reports 1,061
patients in Douglas County have valid registry ID cards. How many
shops do we really need to serve these folks? For their sake, I hope
no more than the current crop.

After next week, new would-be operators who met the state registration
deadline will likely have to aim their sights outside Douglas County.
For my children's sake, I will be grateful to be living among a
majority of conservative voters.