WHO'S HIGH AT SCHOOL GAMES?

For a few years, I lived in Independence, a few blocks from the
infamously named High School Drugs. The scurrilous doper magazine,
High Times, featured a picture of it every few issues.

My question is: Why has nobody questioned the very words: "high
school"? Doesn't this send the wrong message to kids? Sober school.
Cool school. Responsible school. But ... "high"?

When I was last visiting the Philomath Middle School (now, there's an
inoffensive, drug-free word), I saw a poster high on the wall over a
doorway: NO DRUGS/ NO WAY. Again, as a writer, it seemed to me to send
a mixed message. My mind effortlessly installed punctuation, so I
could agree with this blasting slogan.

The geniuses on the Scio school board have not fully grasped the scope
of their problem. They also need to test for Communist thoughts,
un-American defeatism regarding our political goals overseas and
genetic alcoholism.

Our young athletes deserve to be protected from evil influences so
they can become happy, functional adults like Pat Boone, Dan Quayle
and Sarah Palin.

If an adult attends an athletic event held by a high school, stoned
and incapable of appreciating the nuances of football, isn't it only
reasonable to test each spectator, to ensure that everyone present is
not in an altered state?

If I want to go to a game in Scio, how can I feel safe, knowing that
only the young athletes have been drug-tested, and yet the person
beside me on the bench may have marijuana needles sticking from his
arm?

Geoff Taylor

Summit