TAKE THIS TEE AND SHOVE IT

Bravo to La Ronde security. Seriously guys, you done good. By
informing that ill-mannered hooligan that his Bob Marley tee-shirt did
not comply with the park's and Six Flag's family-friendly dress code,
a bold and important step has been made. By making an example of this
dastardly medical equipment company sales representative (or so he
describes himself - I'm guessing he's actually an international
arms-dealer) these brave security guards are letting everyone know
that innocuous visual references to semi-legal substances like
marijuana - or "Mary J" as I'm told the kids refer to it - simply will
not be tolerated in such a wholesome environment, which,
coincidentally frequently smells like the substance in question.

Based on this wise execution of justice, I've come up with a few more
tee-shirts that La Ronde's security staff should keep an eye out for
in order to ensure that everybody stays un-offended...

Political message tees

Let's face it, people have varying political views and La Ronde should
be mindful of this. Amusement parks are just not the place to present
any kind of message. Those shirts depicting a coureur des Bois
associated with Les Jeunes Patriotes? BANNED! Nobody needs to be
reminded of the ever-looming threat of Quebec's separation while they
wait three hours to get on a roller coaster. Tees making reference to
international political issues should also be on the no-no list.
Anybody wearing a shirt reading "Let them build a community centre
containing a room for Muslim prayer two blocks away from Ground Zero"
should not only be booted off the premises, but probably arrested too,
as such a political stance is apparently akin to terrorism itself.

Any tee featuring any pop cultural figure

I've got some distressing news. Apparently, Bob Marley wasn't the only
entertainer ever to smoke marijuana or "Blunt the Rasha" as I'm told
the kids refer to it. And while many celebrities aren't associated
with "da herb" (again, kids) to the point where you'd depict them with
a head of hair full of the stuff, that doesn't mean that they are
beacons of morality either. Let's face it, any shirt depicting any
celebrity, be it ganja enthusiasts like Snoop Dogg or Stephen Hawking
or known deviants like Meryl Streep are a grim reminder that out there
is a world of sinister debauchery that a misguided section of society
puts up on a pedestal.

Ed Hardy tees

They're really just hard on the eyes.

So, what tees are appropriate to wear at La Ronde? It's a tough
question. I'd recommend the classic "I'm with stupid" tee, emblazoned
with a large arrow. Just make sure that wherever you're standing, the
arrow is pointing at a member of the security staff.