DAD'S POT HABIT RILES DAUGHTER

Dear Straight Talk: My dad has been smoking pot since he was 25. He is
now 50. I first caught him smoking it outside last Christmas, but he
usually smokes in his bathroom. We had huge family fights over it and my
mom almost left him, but since it was Christmas we decided to deal with
it later and it never arose again. He hasn't stopped and my sister has
her own problems. Do you have any pointers on why pot is bad for you? He
thinks it's natural. He will smoke sometimes and then drive me places,
but shouldn't you wait six hours? It's just so wrong. I don't want to
grow up like him or my sister.

- -- Jessica

Lennon, 23, Fair Oaks: I hardly ever smoke, but pot is like alcohol in
that there's a difference between having a glass of wine and draining
two bottles. If your dad is so stoned he can't get off the sofa, there's
a problem. But if he only smokes every few days, I wouldn't worry.
However, he should do what his family wants, including giving up weed.
He's the role model.

Katrina, 17, Sand Springs, Okla.: I know many teens and adults who
smoke weed. I compare it to cigarettes, yet they're legal. But parents
have responsibilities. If this throws your family off, he should stop.

Gregg, 19, Sacramento: I know a couple of moms and dads who smoke. One
of the kids is my friend and his mom smokes a bunch of pot. It's very
surprising.

Beth, 19, Newcastle: I recently found out my dad is doing a lot of
drugs, and that he's been smoking marijuana awhile. We didn't know until
he snapped. Now drugs are all he cares about and he's hurting our family
trying to get them. Your dad may need professional help. I wish mine had
gotten help before things escalated.

Matt, 17, Villa Park, Calif.: You have control in a few areas: one,
refuse to drive with him under the influence (sure, pot is natural,
but so is opium and you don't drive on it). Two, talk with your mother
about how to deal with this issue.

Charles, 24, Sacramento: I was a college junior when I came home to my
highly-functional parents smoking a joint in the backyard. They had
admitted to smoking in younger days, but I didn't realize they still
smoked occasionally. College opened me to the idea that people can smoke
weed and be functional, successful and genuinely nice human beings (I
was very critical in high school and early college). I felt surprise,
confusion, and then acceptance all in ten minutes. I didn't join them,
nobody said a word, but since then we've been open about all kinds of
things, which has been great. To answer your question, inhaling burning
materials is bad for you. However, if your dad only smokes once or twice
a week, it's no worse than tobacco. A vaporizer will eliminate most of
the toxins.

Katelyn, 16, Huntington Beach: If it isn't medical, marijuana is
illegal. It hurts your family emotionally, legally and financially.
Educate yourself on the health effects at www.About.com (type
"marijuana" in the search bar). Get help-advice from the National Drug
Abuse Helpline: 1-866-874-4553.

Dear Jessica: Many kids are thrown off when they discover a parent
smokes weed. I have no love for marijuana or lame habits. But unless
your dad is lost or irresponsible from it (in which case, call the
Helpline above), his habit is probably on par, health-wise, with
equivalent alcohol and tobacco use. At your age, your job is not to fix
your dad. Fix yourself. Stay straight, refuse to ride with him (2-3
hours is enough time to drive safely), and inform your parents about
your sister.

For more discussion, to ask a question, or inquire about being a youth
panelist, visit www.straighttalkforteens.com or write POB 963 Fair
Oaks, CA 95628.

Editor's Note: Yes, I did say to tell on the sister. I really do have no
love for marijuana or lame habits. And the younger you are when you
start, the worse the potential effects. As I've said before, today's
weed is 10-25 times stronger than the pot your parents smoked. And your
parents were typically ages 18-23 when they started, not 13-19. The
adolescent brain is in a huge growth period and weed can bring out
negative neurological traits that otherwise would have remained dormant.
I've seen "just weed" clearly and definitely change young people in a
negative way. Yet for many other young people, there are no convincing
negative effects, which is where the confusion lies in thinking weed is
harmless. If you're a teen and want to do something good for yourself,
put off experimenting with weed until you're over 21. (Best: don't smoke
it even then.) And if you're a parent who smokes, quit or cut back to
the point that you are 100 percent discreet. Your kids!
really do need a role model. --Lauren