WASHINGTON THE WEED CAPITAL WOULD BE A BUMMER, DUDES

My buddy Sam sells weed for a living. Some might disparage him as a dope
dealer. He prefers to describe himself as an importer of agricultural
goods from California.

"I provide a quality product, demand is high, and I rarely have to
search for clients," he says.

This being the first weekend when some D.C. residents can legally
catch a buzz, since Congress didn't kill the city's new medical
marijuana bill, I asked Sam if he was worried about the competition
from city-sanctioned pot dispensaries.

"Not a bit," he says. "The city's regulations make it so hard to buy
marijuana that my business might actually benefit."

Indeed, the medical marijuana bill passed May 4 by the city council is
one of the more restrictive in the nation. It allows doctors to
recommend pot to relieve the pain for patients who have cancer, HIV,
glaucoma, multiple sclerosis or other conditions where weed has proven
to ease suffering. Patients can purchase four ounces a month -- which
is plenty. The District's health department would permit five to eight
dispensaries to sell pot. The bill prohibits weed growing in D.C.

"Way too narrow," says Sam.

Sam is betting the city's official pot stores will be no match for the
moist buds he imports from Humboldt County. But does the city's
slouching toward semilegalization of pot mean we are on a slippery
slope to legalizing possession of small quantities? Begs the question:
Is it time to legalize pot and make Sam a taxpaying pillar of the community?

Let's be real -- pot is ubiquitous in our fair capital. Whether I'm
walking down Columbia Road in Adams Morgan, strolling Wisconsin Avenue
in Tenleytown or touring Martin Luther King Avenue in Anacostia, the
unmistakable scent of pot has filled my nostrils. People, young or
old, light up at Carter Barron concerts or high school athletic
events. Federal substance abuse statistics show that 11 percent of
Washingtonians older than 26 smoked pot last year. That puts D.C.
higher than Vermont on the stoner scale.

So why not just legalize pot? Let me count the reasons.

Reefer madness aside, smoking pot messes up your brain, especially if
you are younger than 18, when the brain is growing. I believe research
that shows pot can do permanent damage to young people. In short, pot
makes you dumb and forgetful.

I have seen its effects firsthand of late. Two of my daughter's
friends were failing out of college. They quit toking up; both are
better engaged in classes and their grades are soaring.

Funny how my daughters' pot-head friends can't seem to stay in
college. Not so funny. I have seen marriages and relationships fail
because one member was a stoner.

So, yes -- legalizing pot is a dumb idea. People will get high, they
will rarely get busted, and Sam will have a thriving business. But
there's no need to put the government's stamp of approval on a
practice that fries your brain, especially in the nation's capital
city. Apologies for the buzz kill.