OH, TO STUMBLE UPON A FIELD OF DREAMS ...

Well, they're at it again. Like a swarm of locusts, the boys in blue
have been tromping their ways through the wilds of Nova Scotia this
fall wreaking havoc on the well-tended crops of several upstanding,
run of the mill criminals who worked oh so diligently to maintain
their lush greenery that not only brings happiness to those throughout
the land but also creates a future for agricultural
up-and-comers.

Well, I hope you big bullies are proud of yourselves for wiping the
silly grins off the collective jowls of many a peace loving Maritimer.

For shame. You see, I'd really like to get a few tips (or secrets if
you will) from one of these weed demons because my tomatoes this year
were substandard at best and I'm not going to lie to you ... it's been
very disheartening for me and the missus to say the least.

According to authorities, Kings County RCMP seized 310 plants in one
day and a few thousand for the fall. This didn't include the 550
pounds of dried marijuana that was procured during a couple of
seizures. In total, an estimated 6,000 plants were pulled from the
ground in our fair province this fall. Wow. That is a whole lot of
freaking dope. Just the very thought of the potential inducement of
this cache has me giggling with uncontrollable laughter and reaching
for a bag of Doritos.

Still, I just can't help but picture the hundreds of sullen faces of
those who lost something so near and dear to them. From Yarmouth to
Cape Breton, I'm certain the Doobie Brigade removed their caps in
unison and held them to their hearts as they embraced their pipes and
coddled their bongs in a show of support for the big cause.

A sad day indeed. Chin up, boys, for you still have countless grow
ops, nine more provinces, and three other territories from which to
obtain your state of bliss.

Some officers were reported to be whooping with delight as they
stumbled across dozens of marijuana plants. What a coincidence. I know
a few people who would echo that same feeling of jubilation if only
they were as fortunate. Talk about your Field of Dreams.

I wonder though. Did any of the authorities consider the repercussions
of their actions? Did they for one second consider the domino effect
it would create for the rest of society? Sweet mother of Pearl, I think not.

Sure, users may save a few brain cells and quite possibly shed a pound
or two but what of the food industry that relies on their voracious
appetites? Chip sales would crumble. Pizza deliveries would come to a
grinding halt. Total economic chaos. Growers who have been liberated
of their bounty will now have to find a new means to supplement their
primary (or secondary) incomes. Might I suggest a monthly bake sale. I
hear they're all the rage.