LET'S 'GET A GRIP' ON BLACK MALES BEFORE PRISON DOES

With the recent devastating developments in our community -- the
shooting death of a police officer and the virtual "death sentence"
that may be given to two young black males -- I feel compelled to say
what's on my heart. Like everyone in this community, I am deeply
saddened by the senseless death of South Bend Police Cpl. Scott
Severns. No one deserves to die in such a violent manner. My deepest
prayers go out to his family.

But my prayers don't stop with the officer's family. My prayers are
also with the two young men who stand to lose their lives as they
know them. Like the Severns family, the Redding family and the Finley
family will suffer great losses. But why? What is wrong with our
young black males? This issue is of particular interest to me, as I
am the mother of five children, four of them males. Black males.

I believe the answer to what has gone wrong lies with us. As parents,
grandparents, teachers, coaches and yes, even clergy, we are
responsible for building the minds of our children. So I challenge
you all to "get a grip on your sons".

I know both of the boys who have been charged with this heinous
crime. From what I know about them, I could never have imagined them
being involved in something like this. But I guess I don't know everything.

So I ask, where have we been, parents and grandparents? Where have we
been, aunts and uncles? Where have we been, community leaders? We've
been out to lunch, not on our jobs. That's where we've been. We've
been busy working 10-and 12-hour shifts so that we can have our fancy
cars and clothes. But we've lost our children, especially our sons,
in the process. We've been busy partying, going to the boat, arguing
with our baby's mamas and baby's daddies. But we've lost our
children, especially our sons, in the process.

We have got to get a grip on our sons. Otherwise the court system
will. We cannot allow mediocrity in our boys just because it's what
society expects of them. Our young black men can do great things, but
they must first be raised to believe this. They must hear it from
those most influential in their lives. Black men, you must step up to
the plate. If you don't already have a son, be a mentor. If you are
lucky enough to have a son, teach him pride. Teach him inner
strength. Teach him self-love. Teach him respect. Teach him to be a father.

While my intention is not to offend anyone, I do hope to inspire some
discussion at dinner tables, at barber shops, at hair salons, in
pulpits and at community centers across the area. We must encourage
our sons to defy the odds and become our future congressmen and
business owners, our doctors and teachers, not the drug-dealers and
miscreants that society dictates them to become.

Parents, the responsibility begins with us. We cannot be afraid to
ask for help if we see our sons going astray. We must help each other
help our sons to stay on the right track. The time is now. We cannot
afford to keep losing our sons to the penal system as a result of the
"pistol" system. We have to get a grip on our sons.

Connie Bolden lives in South Bend.