HOLLAND'S WELCOME MAT A SEA OF DUTCH ORANGE

Frank Zappa, the American musician, once said that you can't be a
real country unless you have a beer and an airline . . . or at the
very least, a beer.

Which explains why Holland is a real country and why, to confirm it,
its national Olympic pavilion is called Holland Heineken House, with
Amsterdam-based Heineken claiming to be the world's most international
brewer.

Being British-born myself, I'm basically a warm-beer kind of a guy.
But a lot of folks around the globe clearly like the pale Heineken
lager, served best ice cold.

And thanks to the new Richmond Canada Line service, the Dutch pavilion
is relatively easy to reach.

Just ride the rail to the Richmond-Brighouse terminus and walk to the
O Zone, Richmond's official Olympic celebration site. The signage is
weak to non-existent, but you know you're close when you're surrounded
by a sea of Dutch orange.

After lining up and going through security, you're able to enjoy
what's not so much a "house" as an entire village. The pavilion has
everything from a restaurant, food outlets, information and travel
desks, stores, a radio station and, yes, facilities for the Dutch
royal family.

The service is relaxed and friendly. And a small glass of beer costs
$4.50, which is low enough not to draw complaints of gouging and high
enough not to annoy other local beer-sellers.

Beer, of course, is not all that Vancouver and Amsterdam, the official
capital city of Holland, have in common.

Both are major port cities, both are viewed as progressive-minded,
bicycle-oriented . . . and cannabis-friendly.

Which is how Vancouver got the nickname "Vansterdam."

Indeed, you may recall how Marc Emery, Vancouver's so-called Prince of
Pot, once promoted a hockey screening at the B.C. Marijuana Party's
Vapour Lounge as "Hockey Night in Vansterdam," much to the chagrin of
the CBC's trademark lawyers.

Emery was reported as saying there are many places in Vancouver to
have a beer and watch a game, but nowhere to smoke pot and enjoy some
sports viewing.

I must say I find that hard to believe.

And Heineken official Freek de Wette, understandably, didn't want to
be drawn in on the issue Thursday. What he did say was the Dutch were
practical people who took a smart approach to drugs.

"We manage it, instead of deny it," he noted.

Clearly, Heineken House is efficiently managed. It seems so well-run,
in fact, its crew probably should be running the Olympics themselves.
Maybe then we wouldn't have all those foul-ups the ink-stained British
wretches love to dwell on.

As for the pavilion, the visitors, especially those of Dutch heritage,
seemed to love it.

"It feels like home," said 26-year-old Calgarian Anya
Radvanszky.

It's just a pity the Dutch aren't winning more medals.

But at least they're doing better than the Brits, who don't have an
Olympic pavilion or a world beer - just a bunch of nasty reporters who
bring to mind the Zappa quote about rock journalists being people who
can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't
read.