HERE'S 1 PLAN FOR SAVING OUR GOOD FRIEND, MEXICO

Today is all about saving our pal Mexico.

But first this question: Would there be such a massive auto recall if
Toyota was a U.S.-based car manufacturer?

Now the main topic:

Mexico is not going to save itself from the drug cartels. It is the
drug cartels.

And many politicians, businesspersons and cops are corrupt only
because they're scared. Ordinarily, they'd be good citizens.

As a witness testified in an El Paso courtroom recently, cops know
they'll be killed if they don't follow the cartels' orders. So they
might as well take the payoffs.

When there are hundreds of billions in drug money in Mexico, the drug
lords can afford having every living soul on their payroll.

What to do?

C'mon, Mexico, read a few Hollywood movie scripts. Special Forces! Go
in, get 'em, get out ... and nobody knows you were ever there.

Not so easy?

Tell me we haven't been sending elite fighting men into situations
around the world. Of course, we have.

Mexico, anyone?

I don't believe no one knows where the bad guys in Mexico are
hiding.

But whom do you tell if you know? If you tell the wrong
person?

Then you're a dead man -- or even a dead woman these days. Or a family
member becomes dead.

Or, if the bad guys have mercy (maybe it's a Catholic Church holy
day), they just burn down your business with two or three of your
fingers still inside.

So nobody is brave enough to point and say, "They went
thataway."

Perhaps there should be some "profiling" in Mexico.

If a car full of men brandishing rifles goes down the street, you can
assume they're not outdoor sports enthusiasts. There are no deer in
Juarez.

So the Mexico army troops, the 6,000 of them in Juarez, should single
this car out because the car is probably full of hired killers,
don'tcha think?

And you can't compare Mexican drug lords to Middle East
terrorists.

Drug lords are out for the money; they're for-the-money terrorists.
Middle East terrorists believe they're on a righteous mission, and
that is to kill Christians.

That's why Middle East terrorist leaders don't mind living in caves.
Drug lord terrorists, though, like good food and lap pools. If you're
a drug lord, you don't sit in a mud hovel playing $1 million-a-hand
gin rummy with another drug lord.

And while terrorists who blow themselves up believe they'll get 72
virgins in heaven, drug kingpins are probably just as happy with two
or three here on Earth.

So now we can distinguish between the two and figure it should be
easier to find a drug lord than to find Osama bin Laden.

We also know we can't send our military forces onto Mexican soil. Two
main reasons:

Our military forces are tied up looking for terrorists in caves over
in the Middle East.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Mexico.

Wait a sec.

We could make a case that tons of drugs coming from Mexico mass
destruct our drug addicts in the U.S. And that the billions of our
dollars that go into Mexico would be better spent if we got something
in return better than drugs.

It's a big problem, all right. The drug cartels are so rich and
powerful. The people are so afraid.

I say we go into Mexico -- without having been there.

Who were those masked men?

What masked men?

That drug lord must have wanted the 72 virgins in heaven. That's why
he blew himself up.