3 ADDICTS SHARE THEIR PAINFUL LIFE LESSONS

EL PASO -- In the hope that others may learn from their experiences,
three El Pasoans who are recovering addicts shared how and why they
got hooked. Because they are still undergoing treatment, they asked
that their full names not be used. Nunez, 19, began using cocaine and
marijuana four years ago.

"I got them from friends, and sometimes I didn't even have to pay for
them," he said. "I liked the feeling they gave me. I felt good.

"Once I started working, then I was able to pay for my own stash. It
was easy to find someone at school who had drugs or the contacts for
drugs. Then we would go to a park near the high school, or to a
(convenience) store to pick up the drugs." But once Nunez became
worried about how a police record could affect his future, he agreed
to seek treatment for drug abuse.

"I'm on probation for something not related to drugs, and I figure
treatment is the last stop for me before prison," he said.

Raphael, 29, drank his first beer when he was 14 years old, mainly to
fit in with peers. At 16, he tried cocaine but did not like it. Then
in college, he began drinking hard liquor, especially rum.

"I practically flunked out of New Mexico State University," he said.
"I became less motivated, and I was more interested in the party scene.

"I was a workaholic, and felt it was my right to drink. It affected
my life because I had a DWI and my driver's license was suspended."

Raphael went through a program, but after he finished it, he went
back to drinking.

When he was 20, Raphael began using methamphetamine. He got it from a
fellow worker whose boyfriend made the meth at home.

"No one ever told me about the ill effects of meth," he said. "I used
it for two years, until I began to have auditory hallucinations. I
heard things. I heard people calling my name who didn't say anything
to me. This made me drink even more."

In the beginning, the fact that it was against the law to possess
illicit drugs did not deter him.

"I saw it as an issue of laws versus personal freedom," he said.

However, as his legal problems piled up, and because two daughters
depended on him, Raphael decided to seek help.

R. Lozano, 39, described himself as a recovering alcoholic.

It began when he was 15 and started drinking at bars and nightclubs
in Juarez, where the legal age for drinking is 18. The legal age for
consuming alcohol in Texas and New Mexico is 21.

"We never had any problems getting into the clubs there because of
our age," he said. "When I was in school, we would go drink at
Ascarate Park. We always got older people to buy the alcohol for us.

"When I reached my 20s, I started to experiment with cocaine," Lozano
said. "There is a neighborhood in the Lower Valley, and I swear every
other house had drugs, so there was never a problem finding cocaine.
But I felt it was more dangerous to have it around and more expensive
than alcohol, so I decided to stick to booze."

By the time Lozano turned 29, he was a heavy drinker. It was not
unusual for him to have whiskey or gin at lunch, or keep a bottle at
his workplace.

"It got so bad my girl wouldn't let me see my own daughter," he said.
"When I was 38, I tried to commit suicide by trying to drink myself
to death. I developed hallucinations and memory loss."

Going through treatment helped Lozano pinpoint one of the main causes
of his drinking.

"I was bipolar and didn't know it, and was self-medicating with
alcohol," he said. "I now take the right medications, and that's
really helped a lot."

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HELP RESOURCES

Recovery Alliance of El Paso: Operates Casa Vida de Salud and offers
the comprehensive "Recovery Resource Guide" for El Paso and
surrounding communities. Cost is $4.95 a copy; see more at
www.recoveryalliance.net; 594-7000.

Aliviane Inc.: Operates many drug and alcohol treatment programs for
men, women and youths in El Paso: 782-4000.

Rio Grande Safe Communities Coalition: 775-2555.

White House Office for Drug Control Policy: www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov.