RELIEF, NOT REEFER, IS REASON FOR BILL

It's nothing more than coincidence that Cheech and Chong are coming
to Wisconsin next week just as a bill to legalize medical marijuana
begins to make its way through the Legislature.

The comedians' "Light Up America" tour celebrates the party-down use
of the psychoactive plant.

That's definitely not what the bill he authored is about, Sen. John
Erpenbach, a Democrat from Waunakee, told me Thursday.

It's time to stop slapping a criminal label on seriously ill people
who benefit from puffing pot as medicine with the blessing of their doctors.

"I think people are saying that medical marijuana being against the
law is kind of ridiculous now," Erpenbach said.

Thirteen states and several other countries have said so. Last year
in Michigan, the law passed in every county, and in the first six
months, the state issued about 5,000 certificates to qualified
medical users, the Detroit Free Press reported.

Gov. Jim Doyle has said he supports the change, and the Justice
Department under President Barack Obama announced it will stop
chasing suppliers and users of state-approved medical marijuana.

That still leaves plenty of people for the police to lock up in the
interminable and expensive war on weed. Erpenbach said he's
increasingly urged by Wisconsinites to go ahead and legalize
marijuana for adult use. He knows this is the slippery slope that
opponents of medical marijuana fear.

For now, all he's talking about is medicinal use.

"We're not talking about everybody here, first of all. Second, we're
talking that you have to get a doctor's note, and the condition
you're dealing with has to qualify," he said.

So far that includes cancer, glaucoma, AIDS, Crohn's disease,
hepatitis C, Alzheimer's disease, post-traumatic stress disorder and others.

Nonprofit dispensaries known as compassion centers would sell up to 3
ounces of marijuana to qualifying patients, or the patients could
grow up to 12 plants of their own.

This has gotten a little crazy in Los Angeles and Denver, where
dispensaries have sprung up in large numbers, and sometimes with neon
pot leaves in the front windows. Erpenbach said sellers here would be
licensed and regulated by the state, and buyers would have to register.

"It's not like you're going to be walking down State Street in
Madison or walking in downtown Milwaukee and there's going to be
compassion centers or dispensaries every other door. I just don't
think that's going to happen," he said.

The state may want to keep an eye on the reefer marketplace. Some
doctors in California have developed a reputation as an easy yes,
handing out prescriptions to people with any pain, anxiety or
difficulty sleeping.

Medical marijuana is sold under catchy names like Space Queen, Blue
Dream, Purple Urkel and Train Wreck, and health-conscious users are
gravitating toward vaporizers rather than smoking.

It will seem strange at first to have marijuana sold in storefronts
rather than alleys. But the product is more likely to be pure and
safe, Erpenbach said. Doctors already can approve much stronger
drugs, and this would be another form of medicine.

The law prohibits users from driving or operating heavy machinery,
and from smoking at their jobs, on public transportation and at
schools, jails or youth centers, among other locations.

It's a waste of precious jail space to lock up any pot smokers,
especially when you consider that predatory swim coach Daniel Acker
was somehow allowed to be tanning in Florida while he awaits
sentencing for molesting children. Let's keep our focus on the real criminals.

I know, I know: People with a marijuana orientation threaten the
sanctity of the marriage of humans and alcohol. But it's cruel to
make sick people sneak around to get the relief from pain, nausea and
other symptoms when the solution eagerly sprouts from the earth.

A hearing on the bill, which was introduced with 17 legislative
co-sponsors, is scheduled for Dec. 15 in front of the Senate and
Assembly health committees. Erpenback refrained from calling it a
joint hearing.

Policy-makers, he said, are trying to catch up with the high level of
public approval for this change.