SPLENDOR IN THE GRASS, AS THE LEFT COAST TAKES LEAD

As I take keyboard in hand, voters in the village of Breckinridge,
Colo., - land of wintertime snow and summertime vistas - were deciding
whether or not to legalize marijuana. This wasn't just for aging
hippies, mind you. The measure would allow lawful possession of up to
an ounce of pot for any adult who wants it. The feeling among the
supporters is if the Rocky Mountains aren't high enough for you, you
should be able to set your own cruising altitude. For ease of
operation, recreational paraphernalia such as bongs and pipes are also
included on the ballot.

The far Left Coast has already taken the lead with this type of
legislation. Reports have shown that permission for a little legal
inhalation in the privacy of one's own home has already established a
beachhead in places like Seattle and San Francisco. (Coincidentally,
those areas of the country are where lots of computer programs
emanate. However, as far as I know, there has been no direct
correlation between the problems with the recent Windows Vista
operating system and legalized marijuana.)

Even Alaska apparently allows up to 4 ounces of primo grass to fall
under the heading of an acceptable houseplant. I'm just guessing here,
but I would imagine if Alaskan residents smoke up a good bit of that
stash in one sitting, they could probably see Russia from their front
porches no matter where they live in the state.

It doesn't really come as a surprise that folks living in the great
northwest and points north would seek to legalize the pungent herb.
Shoot, it rains all but six days a year in Seattle, and gets dark at
noon for months at a time in Anchorage. Coping with that can't be easy.

And as far as California goes, well, a good bit of the rest of the
country would probably swear Golden State residents have been smoking
something funny for decades. (And given numerous California
politicians as well as pretty much every second citizen walking the
streets of Los Angeles, the populace does seem to offer continual
proof of that, to be sure.)

It's been proven over and over that trends tend to start west and head
east in the United States. Apparently, the migration toward marijuana
legalization has jumped right over Nevada and landed in Colorado.
Actually, that's not so hard to understand. Nevada has other forms of
entertainment and recreation, and pit bosses in the casinos don't
really want patrons sitting and staring at their cards and chips for
hours on end, having an out-of-body encounter with the King of Spades
or Queen of Diamonds.

What's most interesting is that Washington, D.C., hasn't gotten wind
of this movement. Of course, to be fair, I may have missed it, but I
don't remember seeing anything remotely similar to the Breckinridge
proposition outlined in the 1,990 pages of the House of
Representatives' recently introduced health care bill. Perhaps I
should re-read the fine print.

If the leaders really want to get that legislation passed, I'm
surprised they haven't tried to get more of a buy-in by making
possession of a prescribed amount of grass universally permitted - for
medicinal purposes, you know.

I can hear the arguments in favor of such a provision now: "It'll
create more jobs. Farmers can quit growing so much surplus corn and
start tending to acres of marijuana. A bushel of grass is worth a lot
more than a bushel of ears. People will have to be hired to process
and market the stuff. We'll be self-sufficient and not have to
illegally import drugs from other countries. Police can go after the
real bad guys on Wall Street and not worry about the small-time pot
smokers. We can tax it like we do cigarettes and pay for all kinds of
new programs with the revenue."

Of course, there is that small problem of trying to actually
accomplish a task, any task, while under the influence. Music creation
might flow well, on occasion, but it's really not a good idea to be
buzzed while, say, operating heavy machinery or driving a school bus.
Flying an airplane is also not recommended. You might overshoot your
runway or something.

For now, I guess the rest of us will just have to let the fine folks
in Breckinridge sort through this sociological experiment. Although I
must say, if the measure passes, I'm tempted to see about opening a
donut shop out there. It'll be open from midnight to 3:00 a.m. As has
been shown on college campuses for the last 40 years or so, that
should be just about the time the munchies hit their peak.