WHY DRUGS ROW BOFFIN GOT ON HIS HIGH HORSE

AS YOU probably know (unless you have been in a week-long
cannabis-induced stupor) Professor David Nutt, the Government's chief
adviser on the misuse of drugs, has been sacked because he dared
publicly to offer the Government some advice on the misuse of drugs.

Quite what made him do something so foolish and inappropriate is hard
to imagine.

The Home Secretary Alan Johnson responded at the speed of, well, Speed
(a class-A drug which can be very dangerous but not as dangerous as a
police car doing 100mph down a busy street at closing time).

Professor Nutt said that taking the drug ecstasy is less dangerous
than riding a horse. Alan Johnson said this was ridiculous, that in
his constituency in Hull many lives have been destroyed by drugs but
very few people ride horses.

I can well believe that to be the case but it does seem a rather
random way of conducting the affairs of state. Had Mr Johnson been MP
for Newmarket the opposite might be true.

When it comes to advising politicians, or anybody else for that
matter, the good jobs are in the areas where the clients really take
pleasure.

With MPs it's expenses where advisers would have found room to be most
creative. Politicians revelled in expenses and would have valued ideas
offering new opportunities for self-expression.

The bad jobs are giving advice in areas where they find no pleasure.
Lots of MPs admit to having taken drugs once but almost all of them
say they didn't enjoy it.

Clearly if we were all like our politicians there wouldn't be a drug
problem at all. On the other hand, if we were all like our
politicians, think how many other problems we'd have.

Talking about cannabis, the Conservative MP Tim Yeo said: "I was
offered it on occasion and enjoyed it. I think it can have a much
pleasanter effect than drinking too much."

But he's the only one who ever said they liked it (incidentally, don't
you think "on occasion" is a rather wonderful expression? How many of
us ordinary folk would use the words "cannabis" and "on occasion" in
the same sentence?)

Far more typical is Jacqui Smith who admitted she took cannabis but
didn't like it; on the other hand, she enjoyed expenses rather a lot
and was marvellously inventive.

Any academic adviser would have been proud to come up with the schemes
she devised. But why, I wonder, did Professor Nutt use horse riding as
his yardstick of danger?

Leading academics have minds as sharp as razor blades - they choose
their language carefully. When Professor Nutt brought horses into the
picture he would not have done it with no reason. In fact his motive
is very clear and has everything to do with stable doors and bolting.

At the moment, it is fair to say, we are not generally speaking a
nation of horse riders. Certainly there is a small, tightly knit
community of people who ride horses for money and there are more who
ride out of choice, for purely recreational rather than
performance-enhancing reasons (a postman using a horse on his round
would be attempting to enhance his performance but those of us who
ride only at weekends with friends would be recreational).

Then there are those who encourage others to ride. Many who start off
as innocent youngsters doing jolly rounds of the paddock with friends
end up addicted to three-day eventing with all the dreadful expense
and terrible hazards that entails.

And as for polo, let's not even go there. If three-day eventing is the
crack cocaine of riding, polo is the crystal meth. No wonder
Professor Nutt has warned so forthrightly against ever putting a foot
in a stirrup.

The professor does well to highlight how this obsession with horses
can come between husband and wife, break up families and cause
financial hardship often leading to bankruptcy and homelessness. He is
also well aware that there is a general election in the offing when
this lot are likely to be voted out and the other lot in.

David Cameron and his chaps are very much of the equestrian classes.
Under him Britain may well become a nation of horse riders again. He
has already committed himself to another vote on fox hunting.

How long before jodhpurs are on sale at every Tesco and Asda?
Professor Nutt has performed a public service in warning us against
the dangers of horse riding.

A sensationalist would have talked about bike riding. There is no drug
anything like so dangerous as that.