BONG KIPPUR

Life has been a bit hazy since I arrived at college. Sure, some of it
may be from the five hours of sleep I get each night, but mostly it's
due to my good friend Mary Jane.

Throughout high school, smoking weed didn't appeal to me. I thought
that if I smoked, I would become lazy and end up just sitting around
all day. Then, during my senior year, I experienced a revelation.
There were already plenty of days where I just sat around in my
underwear, so what did I have to lose?

Can you guess what changed in my day-to-day life?

Absolutely nothing.

I still lived my life exactly as I always had, except my down time
was now filled with giggles and snacks. I quickly learned that many
of the preconceptions I had about marijuana were completely false.

First off, marijuana doesn't make you lazy. I can completely
understand where this myth comes from, however. There have been
dozens of times where I've ended up just sitting around all night
with my friends, watching TV. But what most don't take into account
is that there wasn't anything else to do before we did our thing.
Weed just makes an already boring night less boring.

Maybe it's because I'm from a small town with nothing else to do, but
marijuana has been the inspiration for more adventure-filled nights
than I can count. It is the sole reason for the birth of Walmart hide-and-seek.

Another thing I have come to realize is that the term "gateway drug",
which is associated so frequently with marijuana, is complete
nonsense. Of all the tokers I have ever come into contact with, the
overwhelming majority would never touch harder drugs.

Now, don't go saying that they are already drug addicts just because
they smoke weed. As Katt Williams tells us, "I've done the research.
It's just a plant. It just grows like that. And if you just happen to
set it on fire, there are some effects."

The No. 1 myth that I found to be a lie is that marijuana has
negative affects on your health. Obviously, this isn't completely
false. If you set anything on fire and breathe in the smoke, it's
going to do some bodily damage. But it won't kill you, which is more
than I can say for some legal substances.

The annual death toll caused by tobacco is 435,000. Alcohol follows
with an annual death count of 85,000. Deaths from marijuana: zero.

So naturally, after all this time without experiencing any negative
side effects, I began to question why it was illegal. That's right,
ladies and gentlemen. This has all been a prelude to a pothead's rant
on why marijuana should be legalized.

It's no secret that our nation's economy is in the dumps. Our
national debt is nearly at the $12 trillion mark. So how can we help
to resolve this? Well, I think you all know what I'm driving at here.

According to "The Budgetary Implications of Marijuana Prohibition,"
written by Harvard economics professor Jeffrey A. Miron, the nation
spends $7.7 billion each year enforcing marijuana prohibition. We
really can't think of anything better that money could be spent on?

Furthermore, if marijuana were to be taxed like a general product, it
could raise $2.4 billion annually. But if it were taxed in a similar
way to alcohol or tobacco, which is much more likely, it could
generate upwards of $6.2 billion.

So between the $7.7 billion saved on prohibition and the $6.2 billion
collected in taxes, legalizing marijuana could provide the nation
with $13.9 billion. I'm not saying it will completely resolve our
nation's economic problems, but it would certainly help.

The majority of the nation seems to agree as well. A poll conducted
by Zogby International found that 57 percent of the people surveyed
said that they support the legalization of marijuana.

To recap, many of the stoner stereotypes are false. Weed doesn't kill
anyone, ever. It could provide the country with $13.9 billion. And
the majority of the country supports legalization.

So if all these things are true, why isn't marijuana legal? This is
supposed to be a country for the people, by the people. And the
people have spoken - they want legalization.