TALKING IS GREATEST WEAPON IN TACKLING THE TOPIC OF DRUGS

IT was an ordinary Saturday afternoon shopping trip when David McBeath
realised he'd have to have that conversation with his 12-year-old daughter.

Not the birds and the bees chat - no, it was the can of worms with the
large D on the front which had to be opened, all because Jacquie told
him she could smell marijuana.

"I was completely taken aback. I knew we'd have to talk about drugs at
some point, but she was still at primary school for goodness sake, so
I just wasn't expecting it," he says.

When parents face the difficult task of confronting their children
about drugs, it can be an explosive time. Some get angry at the
thought of their child getting hooked - even going so far as to
ransack their child's room searching for bongs, rolling papers and
cannabis. Others just clam up and refuse to discuss the topic.

But many will face awkward conversations which are likely to result in
heated arguments and mutual resentment.

When 36-year-old MOT adviser David, from Boghall in West Lothian,
first discovered that Jacquie knew about drugs, he was faced with a
dilemma. She was just entering her last year at Howden St Andrew's
primary school, and he admits he had never even considered that she
was old enough to know what drugs were - let alone what they looked or
smelled like.

"We were out shopping in Livingston and were having a nice afternoon
buying clothes and chatting about what she'd been taught at primary
school that week," he recalls. "Then she suddenly tells me she thought
she could smell someone smoking marijuana. As soon as she said 'that
smells like hash', I was completely taken aback.

"I thought: 'How am I going to deal with this?' and I knew it would be
difficult without getting angry or upset.

"I always knew at some point we were going to have to have a talk
about drugs but I thought that was still a few years away, because she
was still at primary school.

"I started wondering whether she'd already taken drugs or if her
friends had been offering them to her. My biggest worries when it
comes to Jacquie have always been drugs and teenage pregnancy -
they're the main fears for any parent. But I never expected to have a
discussion about drugs when she was still 12.

"When I found out that the reason she knew was because a school
friend's father smoked dope in his house when she had been round
visiting, I was even more unsure of how to deal with what she was
telling me."

While a lot of parents would no doubt throw a fit at such information,
David says he didn't want to act hastily and instead he decided to
contact the Scottish Executive's Know The Score campaign. And he was
so impressed with their help, he agreed to appear in its latest TV ad
campaign.

"I'd seen their adverts on billboards and thought that I needed to get
as much information as I could before doing anything else. And when
they sent one of their packs through the post, Jacquie and I sat down
and went through it together," says David.

"Luckily, we're a very close family and we talk quite a lot anyway, so
it wasn't as difficult as I thought. She started opening up to me
about some of the things she'd experienced - such as her pal's dad
smoking drugs - and I told her about some of the things I'd seen when
I was younger and some of the people I knew who had taken drugs.

"We ended up having a really long chat about it and I was really
relieved when she told me that she'd never taken drugs and had no
intention of doing so. When she's older, I know she'll inevitably be
offered drugs but I'm glad that she's now in a position where she
knows all the facts and can make her own mind up about them. And her
attitude has also made me think twice about banning her from her
friend's house and so I still let her go round."

Thankfully, David and Jacquie's experience has been a success, but
Know The Score says that there are countless families who have found
it less easy to talk to each other about the dangers of drugs.

"The problem with parents is that they tend to just panic about it,"
explains the campaign's adviser Mhairi Frame. "They automatically
assume that their children are taking drugs and they get angry or
upset, but that really doesn't help anyone.

"We want them to calm down and have as much information as possible so
they can make an informed decision about the problem and then sit down
and talk with their child. A lot of the calls we get are from parents
worried that their children may be smoking cannabis, but it's likely
they'll just be at the stage where they're thinking about
experimenting and won't have tried anything yet. We can send out
information and advice about all kinds of different drugs, so the best
thing to do in situations like this is to read everything and then
decide how to approach the subject."

She adds: "Lots of parents and children want to discuss their feelings
about issues like drugs but find it really difficult to do so.
Teenagers in particular aren't keen to talk to their parents because
they think they won't understand what they're going through. A lot of
them expect their mum or dad to just hit the roof."

That didn't happen to Jacquie. "Thankfully, we didn't have a stand-off
or anything like that," explains David. "But a lot of other people
just can't talk to their kids about something like this and that's a
real shame."

And Jacquie admits that the talk with her dad has made her even more
determined to avoid drugs. "I don't want to ever take them," she says.
"When dad and I talked about it and read the leaflets it made me
realise how stupid you'd have to be to try them. My friend's dad does
and it's just minging. He looks terrible and I don't understand why
anyone would want to do that to themselves.

"When we've talked about drugs, it feels like we're doing it as
friends rather than as if he's my dad. I've been able to explain how I
feel about drugs, and that's been really good."

[sidebar]

IF WORRIED PARENTS KNOW THE SCORE ON NARCOTICS AND THEIR EFFECTS THEY
CAN GIVE THEIR CHILD THE RIGHT ADVICE

Q: If my son takes drug X will it lead to Y? This is generally applied
to cannabis leading to harder drugs such as cocaine.

A: There is no strong evidence to support this theory and most young
people who experiment with recreational drugs do not go on to become
regular drug users.

Although a small minority of people who use "soft drugs" like cannabis
will move on to other drugs, there will be many other factors behind
this rather than a simple case of "I've tried cannabis let's move on
to heroin".

Q: My son/daughter is acting strangely/moody/is in the wrong crowd...
what can I do?

A: Think carefully as to why you think this may be related to drugs.
It is vital that you talk to your child about any other potential
problems they may be having and whether there are any other signs such
as weight loss, spending money with nothing to show for it, etc.

Try to open the lines of communication and try not to be too harsh in
your judgment, criticism or assumptions. Try to find out more about
your son/daughter's interests, friends, and why they may be hanging
around with that particular crowd.

Try to talk to them about their health and wellbeing. Learn more about
the different types of drugs and their effects to ensure you are fully
equipped to deal with a potential situation.

Q: My child tells me cannabis is harmless.

A: Find out the risks associated with cannabis and mental health
issues. Although cannabis is not a physically addictive drug it can
act as a trigger for any underlying mental health problem and can
easily become a habit. Instead of helping you to relax, you may find
you are anxious and agitated, your mood may be lower, concentration is
harder and you may become paranoid.

Smoking cannabis can lead to respiratory disorders, coughs and sore
throats with both long and short-term use and there is no safe level
for smoking anything.

Cannabis can also affect a person's emotional wellbeing possibly
linked to depression, motivation, mood swings, etc. The myth that
cannabis is harmless is not true.

For more information call the Know the Score helpline on 0800 587
5879.