LIFE AND DEATH IN THE FAST LANE

They said, "Slow down! I see spots!"

The lines on the road just looked like dots.

. From "Hot Rod Lincoln," by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet
Airmen

The cops have apparently decided to start taking speeding seriously.
"Police cracking down on speed demons," said a headline in Tuesday's
Telegram.

On behalf of the handful of Newfoundland drivers who adhere to posted
speed limits - or, at least, close enough to them to evade detection
by radar guns - I'd just like to say thank you, and it's about time.

Judging from recent headlines, the police in this province have been
more occupied with busting grow-ops than with enforcing the rules of
the road.

As a parent and a taxpayer, I would prefer that the police spend more
time ticketing dangerous drivers than nabbing marijuana entrepreneurs.
Pot-pushers may be irritating, but the dangers they pose to kids are
far less than those presented by the idiots who barrel through your
neighbourhood at 70 km/h or hurl down the highway at 140 km/h.

Granted, it's more glamorous to be a drug-busting narc than a mere
traffic cop, but the law-abiding, non-toking majority need more of the
latter. So, ticket away, officers.

No Enforcement

You see some strange things on the road. One of my favourites is the
big Indian head alongside the Trans-Canada Highway at, appropriately
enough, Indian Head, Sask.

On a trip last month, we got a laugh out of a large sign outside a
church near Grand Falls - or was it Gander - that declared, "Sinning
stops here!" With all the bad news swirling around various churches
these days, the sign's declaration could be interpreted as being
sarcastic, ironic or clue-less.

Another sign offered evidence of how officialdom's fondness for
fudging facts has decimated clear language. It pointed down a side
road and read, "Working Heritage Community," which, in the old days of
plain speaking, would have been known as an "outport."

The provincial highway map says it is 708 kilometres from St. John's
to Rocky Harbour. It took us about seven hours to get there, not
including stops for snacks, gas or leg stretching. Across all that
pavement, we passed exactly one vehicle - which was going uphill and
pulling a trailer. On the return trip, we passed five or six vehicles.
Hundreds of drivers passed us.

Mind you, we weren't doing anything to hold people up. We were going
the speed limit.

Even so, other drivers zipped past us like bombs over Baghdad, leaving
shock and awe in their wake. Most often, they didn't just sneak past
because they were doing 105 km/h as opposed to our 100 km/h. Most of
them zipped by, going 120 or 130 km/h.

Over the course of 1,416 km, we didn't see a single cop car, let alone
a motorist who had been pulled over for speeding.

Shifting Gears

Every year, about 3,000 Canadians are killed in traffic accidents. In
the U.S., the number is about 40,000. To put this in perspective,
consider this: every 18 months, more Americans die in traffic
accidents than were killed in the Vietnam War.

A writer of a recent letter to the editor astutely pointed out that
perhaps it's time everybody stopped referring to traffic "accidents,"
because usually there is nothing accidental about deadly collisions,
and the blame can be put upon driver behaviour.

Police have consistently said speed and alcohol - either singly or in
combination - cause the majority of deaths on the road.

As a society, we seem to finally have decided that driving while drunk
is not acceptable. We need to become equally repulsed by people who
habitually speed. They are selfish and utterly devoid of consideration
for other people's safety.

Here's hoping the cops pass out plenty of speeding tickets. Officers,
start your engines.