BYLAW IS CLINICAL INSANITY

The City of Coquitlam has tabled a proposal to prohibit certain
businesses that "by their nature are undesirable in the City."

The new bylaw would also restrict "Adult-oriented businesses that on
their own are not necessarily undesirable but when grouped (together)
. . . may attract criminals and are often intimidating to ordinary citizens".

Most cities have that kind of restrictive bylaw. The City of North
Vancouver prohibits escort services, exotic performances, pawnbrokers
and massage parlours. The district is more concerned about poultry
and fish farming but does prohibit video lottery terminals. West
Vancouver only prohibits pawnbrokers and what are called "social
escort service business types."

The difference is that on the North Shore, they try to deal with this
issue that affects very few citizens -- unseemly and unsightly
businesses -- in a restrained way.

The Coquitlam proposal, on the other hand, does anything but. Its
list of undesirables includes pawnbrokers, massage parlours,
methadone clinics, escort services and exotic dancing.

Methadone clinics? Where did that come from? Is this one of those
psychological tests that asks you to pick out the item that doesn't belong?

A methadone clinic is simply a medical practice. Three or four
doctors get together and devote their time, sometimes principally,
sometimes exclusively, to treating opiate addicts and prescribing methadone.

They run a fee-for-service operation; they are not subsidized by
government; and they provide a necessary service.

As long as methadone substitution continues to be used to treat
heroin addicts, there will have to be places where those addicts can
be assessed, a decision made about their suitability for the program
and prescriptions written.

I've never been a fan of the therapy: It simply replaces one
addictive drug with another because the other is legal (much better
to make the heroin legal), but there is no history of disruption,
crime or -- God forbid -- unseemly behaviour connected with Vancouver clinics.

Drug stores that are licensed to dispense methadone occasionally have
line-ups but raise no serious concerns -- except, maybe, the offence
to the eye of citizens who actually look at and see people who are
lost, weak and helpless.

I am told by Lisa Parkes of Coquitlam's legal department that, up to
now, there have been no methadone clinics in the city.

Needing some explanation for their inclusion alongside massage
parlours and exotic dancing, I looked at the reports from city staff
that led to consideration of the bylaw. The first was dated March 11,
2009 and proposed that "the following uses be prohibited in all zones
within the City: non-registered massage except 'Bodywork' as noted
below; pawnshops; methadone clinics; escort services; and exotic dancing."

Is that all there is? Nothing before or after it discusses why any of
these undertakings, let alone methadone clinics, are offensive to the public.

The proposed bylaw, because it mentions methadone clinics, is of
course required to define them.

It says they are "premises used principally to prescribe methadone to
persons with opiate addiction and may include the provision of
counselling and other support services to those persons." I can't
quite see a NIMBY factor, there.

Methadone clinics were plucked from the sky to take their place
alongside those other undertakings. They are not even unpleasant from
an esthetics perspective nor do they foster crime.

The proposed bylaw at least puts forward a reason of sorts for
regulating but not prohibiting outright adult entertainment and video
stores, cheque cashing operations, methadone dispensaries, scrap
metal dealers and tattoo parlours. It calls them "other
adult-oriented businesses that, while not necessarily objectionable
on their own, when grouped together have caused issues for certain
areas of the City ranging from unpleasantness from an esthetics
perspective to increased crime".

There are presently two drug stores in the city that are licensed to
dispense methadone. They are slightly less than a kilometre apart.
The bylaw will require all new dispensaries to be at least that
distance from any others. Ditto for all those other honourable
pursuits. But none of those are considered to be worthy of being
banned outright.

What is it about methadone clinics that made the collective knee of
the Coquitlam City Council jerk?

It seems to be a collection of bad vibrations emanating from just the
word methadone or -- even worse -- heroin. The idea is that someone
who has misused heroin is not only dangerous but is unfit to seek
medical treatment for his condition within the confines of the City
of Coquitlam.

The clinics in Vancouver work smoothly enough and a simple request to
look at them might have prevented their inclusion in a list that
seems to have been put together by the kind of people who want to ban
books they haven't even read.