FACES OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE: 'IT'S A WASTE OF A LIFE'

In a letter that Ashley Hallstrom wrote to her father less than a
month before she died, notes of frustration and depression rang out in
her words.

The soon-to-be-23-year-old McHenry woman was heavily addicted to
heroin. Until she penned that letter, she managed to stay clean and
live on her own for seven months. She was keeping a job, paying her
own rent, and buying her own food.

But one day, she fell back into her habit and was sent to jail for six
weeks after an overdose.

"I've put myself through so much with this drug," Ashley wrote from a
cell in February. "I'm just so tired of living my life like a broken
record."

Although Ashley once had blamed her drug problems on depression from
her parents' divorce in the 1990s, several other factors can lead to
addiction. Treatment providers suggest that stress - especially in
today's economic times - can play a large role in the recent increase
in local chemical dependencies.

"With the downturn of the economy, there's so many people turning to
substance abuse," said Shari Shaver, founder and program director of
Rebekah's House, a women's treatment facility in Woodstock. "They're
in so much pain. They don't know what to do."

In explaining her addiction - which she said fed off her negativity
and lack of education - Ashley apologized to her parents and said she
would do better.

"The only problem is, I don't know how to fight this beast inside of
me that says I'll never amount to anything and I'll never be anyone.
How did I get here?" Ashley asked.

"I refuse to surrender," she continued. "I don't have any more chances
left."

Unfortunately, Ashley was right.

On the morning of March 10, just nine days after her birthday, Ashley
greeted her mother in her bedroom as she was getting ready for work. A
few minutes later, Ashley returned to her own room, and her mother,
Diane, heard a loud thud.

"I didn't think anything of it at first and knocked on her door,"
Diane Hallstrom said. "She was lying on the floor; her lips were
purple. I saw the needle laying next to her. I tried to revive her,
and I couldn't."

"The paramedics said as soon as she injected herself, she died
immediately," she added. "It was pure heroin."

Diane Hallstrom had tried multiple times to get Ashley help, but she
either resisted or relapsed. She was kicked out of Rebekah's House,
then later, her last recovery program in Waukegan.

"There was something special about Ashley," Shaver said. "She didn't
make it at Rebekah's House because she continued to lie. It's not
about games. ... It's for women who are ready, and Ashley just wasn't
ready."

Shaver started helping women 10 years ago when she became sober from
her own drug addiction. She was inspired by Freedom Farm, a men's
addiction program in Harvard.

In the past five years, 80 women have come through the doors of her
Christian-based program, with only about 14 relapsing.

Although comprehensive substance abuse resources are few in McHenry
County, many treatment options outside of local specialized homes do
exist.

Centegra Health System offers a partial hospitalization program for
addictions, medical detoxification, and chemical dependency
evaluations. The Family Service and Community Mental Health Center for
McHenry County serves as another outlet with intensive outpatient
programs and individual counseling.

Although state funding threats might affect social services
programming by putting hundreds of local adults and children on
treatment waiting lists, county agencies say they remain committed to
helping addicts as best they can.

"We're going to continue providing service, but at a level that is not
equal to the demand that we see out there," said Bob Martens, CEO of
Family Service and Community Mental Health Center. "And especially
now. That's the sad part. Especially now, when people are struggling
with the stressors they have in their lives."

But some say the biggest step - aside from greater treatment and law
enforcement - is better education. Ashley began secretly doing drugs
in high school and never graduated.

"When I got hooked on cocaine, and Ashley got hooked on heroin, we
didn't say, 'I want to be a cocaine or heroin addict,' " Shaver said.
"We did it because we wanted to just have fun, and then put it down."

Diane Hallstrom said she continues to communicate with McHenry
detectives, who have yet to pinpoint who sold Ashley the heroin the
night before her death.

"I feel bad for the kids out there because they don't know," Diane
Hallstrom said. "They really don't know what they're doing to
themselves."

"If I could bring my daughter back, I would in a heartbeat, but I
can't," she said. "It's a waste of a life."