MY COMMITMENT TO NOT EXPERIMENT WITH DRUGS

Editor's note: Christian Green, sixth grader at Hanalei School, wrote this
essay, making him a winner of a Colin Mathews Memorial Scholarship at
Hanalei School.

I never thought about drugs or knew that kids were experimenting with
drugs. I felt very confused and scared when I heard that Colin Mathews
died of a drug overdose.

I remember my parents telling me why Craig Mathews, Colin's brother,
wasn't at our soccer game. They told me that Craig's brother was found
dead, in his bed because he took some drugs. It was hard for me to
understand. The Mathews family has always meant a lot to me. Conrad,
Colin's dad, has been my soccer coach. Auntie Linda, Colin's mom, has been
my religious-education teacher, and Craig and Colin have always been two
boys from good parents and a good home, in my neighborhood in Princeville.

On that Saturday, after my soccer game, we went to the Mathews home. We
brought flowers, a card and a little wooden figure of a boy holding a
golden heart. I was so nervous walking into their home. I didn't know what
I would say or if I would cry. I wondered if they knew where Colin got the
drugs and why he chose to take them. My mom talked to Linda and told her
that we were there for whatever they needed. Linda gave me a hug and I
hugged Craig. I asked where Conrad was and then he walked down the stairs.
He gave me a big hug and cried. I told the Mathews that I would help out
in the funeral. I could alter serve, I could miss school and help in any
way.

After leaving the Mathews house, I was sitting in the back seat of the car
and I remember looking at my mom crying and seeing her in the rearview
mirror. She said something that I will always remember. Christian, please
don't ever try drugs, no matter what. Colin did not mean to die. He didn't
know drugs would kill him.

I had so many questions and I was still confused. I didn't want to upset
my parents, but I had questions. Finally, my mom explained to me what had
happened. It really scared me.

On the day of the funeral my mom came and picked up Jackson McCullough and
I from the Jog A Thon. We left early from school and drove to Kapa'a. My
mom assured us that we would not see the "open casket." She said that we
were just going to serve for the Mass. Our parents thought we were too
young to have to see the open casket. I knew that I didn't want to see
Colin in there.

We dressed in our alter-serving robes and were escorted into the church
and onto the altar. I can't explain exactly how I felt. Right in the
middle of the aisle was Colin Christian Mathews, age 15, in his coffin.
All of his friends and people in our community and all of the kids from
his school were walking past him. They were saying their good-byes. I
couldn't look at Conrad, Auntie Linda and Craig, all standing there,
crying. I felt really sick. I remember looking at everyone and thinking,
where were all these friends when Colin was thinking about doing drugs?
Why didn't they stop him?

If ever someone tries to get me to experiment with drugs, no matter how
much pressure they give me, I will always remember the two hours of
standing next to Colin while he lay dead in his casket and his family who
had to say good-bye to him. I will always think about the Mathews and how
they will never be the same. The message is clear to me to not experiment
with drugs. My mom tells me that it shouldn't be a problem for me to stay
away from drugs. She says that I like to be in control and that people who
do drugs, don't mind losing control of themselves. She is right, I always
want to be in control and I will always tell my experience of standing
next to an open casket of a boy who was only a few years older than me. I
will not do drugs, they kill!