PARENT OFFERS OTHER PARENTS SAGE ADVICE

EDMOND - If parents need advice on how to talk about drugs with their
children they can get it from someone who has been there.

Pat Nichols, founder of the Edmond chapter of Parents Helping Parents,
said he learned a great deal from his experiences with his son's
issues with alcohol and drugs.

His son was receiving marijuana from a friend whose father grew it on
a farm. It took about seven years before his son finally "snapped" and
started getting help and counseling, Nichols said.

Parents might do the "sex talk," but they need to have the same talk
with their children about drugs and alcohol, Nichols said.

"We need to go ahead and show the facts about abuse to children and
say, 'I love you and I trust and I don't want you to think for one
minute that I don't, but I'm concerned about these types of
statistics,'" Nichols said.

Wynema Ra, executive director for the Norman Alcohol and Drug
Treatment Center, is a licensed professional counselor and licensed
alcohol and drug counselor for the state of Oklahoma.

Ra said parents need to educate themselves about substance abuse and
addiction and should start talking to their children about related
issues as soon as they are able to understand.

Through a variety of media children are exposed to advertising
messages about alcohol and tobacco.

"We have to let them know that these are the consequences if you drink
or smoke," Ra said.

Nichols said parents need to express that they understand sometimes
when youth get involved with their peers things can sometimes break
down.

Parents need to set boundaries out of love and understanding, he said.
By doing that, with people receiving the proper understanding and
education, they can put the proper systems in place to help their child.

It's a good idea to have a family "contract" in place, a baseline for
the future, Nichols said. It should include the child saying, "I think
this is what should happen if that happens to me."

"Let them be a part of it," Nichols said.

Then, if mistakes happen, if the problem continues, there's an
addiction issue, Nichols said.

Anytime you come in come in contact with a child whose behavior is
that of abusing alcohol and other drugs get help now, Nichols said. If
you don't, your marriage could be over, you could end up financially
broke, in debt and more than likely the child will end up either dead
or in jail, he said.

"Don't overlook it and get help," Nichols said. "Seek out counseling
from a counselor certified in alcohol or another drug."

By the numbers - Antisocial behavior within past year:

. 5 percent of 12th graders, 7 percent of 10th graders have been
suspended from school

. 21.8 percent of 12th graders, 14 percent of 10th graders have been
drunk or high at school

. 7.7 percent of 12th graders, 8.7 percent of 10th graders have sold
illegal drugs

. 1 percent of 12th graders, 2.4 percent of 10th graders have stolen a
vehicle

. 5.5 percent of 12th graders, 6.6 percent of 10th graders have been
arrested

. 8.6 percent of 12th graders, 11.2 percent of 10th graders have
attacked to harm

. 3.2 percent of 12th graders, 3.4 percent of 10th graders have
carried a handgun

. .4 percent of 12th graders, 1.1 percent of 10th graders have brought
a handgun to school

Source: 2006 Oklahoma Prevention Needs Assessment Survey by the Oklahoma
Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services