PARENTS CAN HELP ADDICTED YOUTH, AND HOLD THEM RESPONSIBLE, TOO

Re: Why I wept for my beautiful boy, May 2.

The agony parents go through when their child gets into trouble with
alcohol or drug use is like no other. They fear every worst-case
scenario and they feel terribly alone.

For six years, I counselled parents of children whose use became
abuse and sometimes addiction. Like the father in the Citizen
article, they could all identify things that they or others thought
were the cause(s) of the child's problem.

When a child is injured in an accident, we look after the child first
- -- before looking for the cause of the accident. When a child is
injured by drug abuse, the same principle applies.

Kids who get into trouble with any drug, even legal and prescription
drugs, need help first. A big part of that help is to hold them
responsible for their behaviours. It does not mean becoming a police
officer, a warden or a judge. But it means allowing them to safely
suffer the negative consequences of their using behaviour.

For a parent to be able to allow them to suffer requires a loving
detachment that is not a usual part of parenting courses.

It requires age-appropriate preparation and education for parents. It
is not about abandoning parental responsibility. It is about helping
kids learn from their experience while protecting -- not rescuing -- them.

Ottawa is fortunate to have the services of Rideauwood, The Dave
Smith Centre and other agencies which offer help and support to
parents. Many beautiful boys and girls have been "returned" to moms
and dads through their efforts.

Harvey Davey,

Ottawa