THE FACEBOOK SNAPSHOT AND SHENANIGANS OF GENERATION TAME

According to Maclean's magazine, today's so-called "Generation Tame"
teenagers are smoking, drinking and using drugs considerably less
than their counterparts from a decade ago.

Gleaning statistics from Project Teen Canada - an ongoing survey of
Canadian youths created to put a finger on the pulse of our nation's
teens - Maclean's took a brief break from its recent barrage of
doom-and-gloom reportage (The Sky Is Falling) to deliver the good
news: apparently while we were collectively out to lunch, our kids
experienced a "tidal swing in values", and the generation that adults
was certain was up to no good has seemingly forsaken "those timeless
hallmarks of teenage rebellion - booze, cigarettes, drugs and sex."

Yeah, right.

As a father whose wife insists he go through life sans blinders -
being pleasantly oblivious is apparently not an option - I can only
suggest that if this generation of teens is in reality smoking,
drinking and using drugs considerably less than before, it's only
because they don't have the time because they're so busy snapping
pictures of themselves, and then posting those pictures on Facebook.

Okay, I jest. Maybe today's teens are tame. After all, Maclean's is
an undeniably reputable publication and Project Teen Canada is doing
superb work, so I'm sure the story accurately notes the findings.
But, are the surveyed teens actually being honest? Kids today are
super savvy. Is it possible that they're misbehaving as much as ever,
but, unlike previous generations, they're smart enough not to go
boasting about it?

When I was a youth - back when approximately 98.6 percent of all
teens were certifiable chowderheads - I was enlisted to take an
ongoing university-sponsored survey on drug use. Once or twice a year
all those being surveyed would congregate in the school cafeteria and
answer a mind-numbingly long questionnaire (the surveys alone were
enough to turn a teen onto drugs). And, we would answer with brutal
honesty. The survey would wonder: How many times have you used
marijuana? And you could hear the whispers: "Hey man, do they mean,
like, today? Like, how many times I've used it today?"

Finally, while the magazine article was based on statistics that
indeed reveal a decline in usage of cigarettes, alcohol and drugs,
the survey's findings are nonetheless disturbing. Sure, the
percentage of those teens that drink is down by seven percent, but
it's still at 71 per cent That's right, more than seven of every 10
teens is still illegally imbibing. Twenty-two percent are still
smoking, 31 percent are still toking, and 44 percent are still having
sex. Not comforting news.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those who think that teens are
inherently evil, but I have a hunch that even my angelic offspring
occasionally get up to no good. Because, despite what parents might
be inclined to suggest under their breath, teens are human. Oh, and
because whenever I'm ranting about teen behavior, my wife reminds me
of the prodigious scope and stupidity of my own youthful shenanigans.
Which affords perspective. Hey, maybe the kids are alright.

Andy Juniper can be visited at his Web site, www.strangledeggs.com ,
or contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com .