PUFF, PUFF, PASS LEGISLATION FOR LEGALIZATION

A Brain In A Vat

With purse-strings drawing ever tighter around the country, states are
scrambling for ways to cut costs and increase revenues. Strategies run
from upping income taxes to slashing education budgets, but citizens
are understandably wary of such measures.

In navigating the risky waters ahead, lawmakers should look instead to
one of the silliest and most unjustified policies of our time: the
prohibition of marijuana.

The facts speak for themselves. Weed is now the biggest cash crop in
the United States, and there's nary a corner of the country where you
can't find people toking up. Use of marijuana has remained steady for
quite some time, despite billions upon billions spent to incarcerate
recreational users and to indoctrinate schoolchildren on the dangers
of the "gateway drug." The more effort we expend chasing down dealers
and gangs, the craftier the criminals get and the more refined the
product.

The War on Drugs is, of course, one of those cherished American
pastimes like drilling for oil or selling guns whose logic is never
really questioned. "Drugs bad," we say, and that's that. Never mind
that our past three presidents have been drug users, or that vast
swaths of the population, possibly even a majority, have given ganja a
go. (Drug-use statistics are notoriously unreliable, with government
agencies portraying use as an isolated, criminal phenomenon, and
advocates of legalization as a free-for-all bonanza.) We think we know
what's right for our children and our cities, and anyone who says
otherwise is branded as a hippie and a dreamer.

But let's get real: Marijuana's not going anywhere, and neither are
its fans. From the moment Bob Dylan passed The Beatles their first
joint, our culture's fate was sealed.

Everyone from Afroman to Bill Maher has sung the praises of cannabis,
and you can be damn sure they're not outliers.

Pretending we can get rid of weed is like pretending we can stamp out
masturbation.

And equally ludicrous.

The detrimental effects of marijuana use, while real, hardly merit our
massive efforts to eradicate it. Smoking a blunt may inspire you to
watch South Park or eat some Oreos, but you're unlikely to get into a
bar brawl or have anonymous, unprotected sex - both major risks of
legal alcohol use. The actual imbibing of the drug may cause damage to
your lungs (unless you're a real aficionado and have opted for a
vaporizer), but recent research showing marijuana's ability to
alleviate pain from cancer and to moderate disorders like multiple
sclerosis suggest it is more like the red wine of inhaled substances.
And as far as cannabis being a gateway drug, prohibitionists should
remember the oft-cited difference between causation and correlation:
Just because you pick up a joint before a needle doesn't mean that you
weren't going to arrive at the needle anyway.

Tonsil hockey almost always comes before intercourse, but no one's
crying for abstinence-only education about French kissing.

Simply for consistency's sake, then, marijuana should be legalized:
The acceptance of alcohol and cigarettes - not to mention the vast
array of legal pharmaceuticals whose abuse can have much more serious
consequences than smoking weed - suggests an alarming double standard.
But theoretical arguments rarely gain much traction; that's why the
economic crisis has inspired such hope in legalization advocates.

Tom Ammiano, a Democratic assemblymember in California, recently
introduced a bill to the state legislature to tax and regulate the
drug; according to his scheme, more than $1 billion would be raised,
in addition to eliminating the costs of detaining prisoners and
chasing down growers and dealers.

And there's encouraging signs from the White House, as well: Attorney
General Eric Holder announced last week that the feds would stop
raiding state-sanctioned medical marijuana dispensaries in California
and reserve resources for more pressing matters.

A few more hefty bailouts and voters might finally demand some common
sense in their drug policy.

Social conservatives often argue that legalizing marijuana would lead
to irreparable societal damage - as if the millions of prisoners
locked away, the billions of dollars spent in enforcement and the
thousands of people killed in drug wars across the world were just a
side note. But no evidence suggests that loosening the laws leads to
increased abuse.

The Netherlands has seen a drop in drug use even as its policies have
grown more and more liberal, and Britain recently saw a decline in
youth marijuana consumption after it eased its own restrictions. The
explanation is simple: people want what they're not supposed to have.
Bombarded by laughably ominous commercials (people who've never packed
a bowl are apparently not the most creative types) and ineffective
education programs (research suggests D.A.R.E. may actually have
increased drug use), kids for the past generation have flocked to the
forbidden fruit.

But with the allure of rebellion gone, marijuana is just another
everyday vice.

So let's get our heads back on straight.

In this season of new beginnings, it's high time we did away with one
of our most famously failed programs.

If not for justice, if not for the violence raging south of the
border, if not for the neighborhoods torn apart by turf wars and
prison terms, then for that most American of values: the bottom line.
Because once we legalize nuggets, the gold will come rushing in.