RHINOCEROS PARTY BACK -- SORT OF

OTTAWA -- Talk about a party platform.

The Rhinos are back and they're hoping to lure voters with the
promise of weekly orgasms -- and marijuana in every pot.

The Neorhino party promises to declare Spanish as Canada's official
language and pass legislation forcing Prime Minister Stephen Harper
to go on a diet.

Among its other campaign planks: Replace soldiers' weapons with
paintball guns and create a national gas-barbecue registry.

They're proud of smoking pot, they draw their political inspiration
from cigar-chomping comics and rock legends, and they want to get
elected so they can stick it to "The Man".

The new party -- officially called neorhino.ca -- is one of at least
two groups claiming to be a reincarnation of the defunct Rhinocerous
party that specialized in political satire.

Like the old Rhinos, the party has no clear political ideology except
for two deep beliefs: Something's seriously wrong with the state of
modern politics, and Canadian public discourse could use a lot more fun.

The original Rhinos were founded in 1963 by Quebec author Jacques
Ferron, and reached the pinnacle of their success in the 1980
election where they received 110,000 votes -- or 1.01 per cent of the
popular vote.

They never won a seat and stopped running election candidates in 1993.