BETTER IMAGE KEY IN MARIJUANA DEBATE

Better Image Key In Marijuana Debate

This just in - my sources tell me Afroman's 2001 marijuana anthem,
"Because I Got High" is not - I repeat, not - an anti-drug song.
True, his song lyrics blame weed for the loss of his wife, kids, job,
and the use of his arms and legs.

But he's actually putting forth a positive and carefree message about
the drug's use: everybody loves the tumbleweed.

So why not legalize it?

It's no longer just a question for Afroman's fans. Personally, I
don't care about laws against puffing the magic dragon. The shiva's
just not my thing. Even if it was, I wouldn't have the brass to print
it in the paper, as Waites Laseter did last week. After that column,
some thought he had brains the size of a dime bag, but I disagree.

Even in the age of Facebook-snooping employers, the man has faith in
his cause. He told me he believes his habit will soon be a non-issue.

I doubt it.

When I spoke to Laseter last week, he was wearing a hemp necklace and
a Bob Marley hairnet to control his mane. Although he had an
intelligent message, I and others listening couldn't help cracking a
smile or two. Why?

Because nobody wearing a bandana has been taken seriously since Jimi
Hendrix died.

Because despite the fact that respectable figures such as Barack
Obama and Michael Phelps are both one-time admirers of Mary Jane,
they are not the ones advocating for the legalization of what seems
to be a common and relatively harmless illegal drug.

Instead, we have the University's chapter of National Organization
for the Reformation of Marijuana Law member who suggested meeting for
a 3 p.m. interview last year at Dunkin' Donuts. This guy showed up
blazed out of his mind, about to down a few doughnuts before heading
off to a screening of the latest Harold and Kumar movie.

And even though that image fits into my column better than the herb
at a 311 concert, I didn't make any of it up. Not a bit. That's how
he wanted to spread his message to the media. It's too bad, because I
think they have research and sense on their side. They certainly
slapped University officials in the face.

When University Legal Affairs said the group's T-shirt was using the
University logo to promote illegal activity, the group held up shot
glasses from the bookstore with "Freshman" and "Sophomore" printed on
the side. Isn't that the University's logo being used to promote
underage drinking?

I talked to Vice President of Public Affairs Tom Jackson, and he
agreed it was. (There are still two shelves of the shot glasses in
the bookstore - get 'em while you can.)

The problem is that instead of the suit and tie many would expect
from a group trying to reform a set of laws, we have Harold and Kumar
go to the Arch.

We have a spokesman holding a "news conference" looking like he just
rolled out of bed and can't wait to roll into a pile of his finest ganja.

Sorry guys, but the laughs you got from people walking by are what
you can expect to get from people in the Capitol. Your audience will
remain a small group of fellow tokers.

So go ahead and hit me with the "conformist" label. Tell me how I
would have everyone on campus dressing like Frat-tastic Freddy and
Sally the So-ho. It's not true - I love color in my life.

But you know who doesn't? Congress. And the second they see Weed
lovin' Willy in the Capitol with sporting red, green and yellow,
they're going to smile and walk away. It won't matter how many purple
haze-loving hippie signatures you have on your petition.

So try a shave and a shower, maybe a blazed visit to the barber, and
then pitch your message. Maybe you'll get somewhere. Even if you
don't, you'll always have Afroman.

- -Marc McAfee is a senior from Kennesaw majoring in broadcast news.