GREATEST OLYMPIAN SMOKES POT, MEDIA SEARCHES FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES

Fourteen-time Olympic gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps is back in
the news-not for the breaststroke, but a pot-toke.

Over the weekend a British tabloid published a photo of Phelps
appearing to take a toke off a waterpipe filled with marijuana smoke.
The photo was purportedly taken at a University of South Carolina
house party in November, three months after his eight-gold performance
at the Beijing Olympics.

In a statement released by his agent, the 23-year-old Phelps
apologized and said he "acted in a youthful and inappropriate way."

Wait a second, I spent four years in university, so if there's one
thing I know about, it's house parties. To be impeccably honest,
smoking dope from a bong is a perfectly appropriate way to conduct
yourself at a university house party. At least, it certainly beats
such other commonly appropriate acts as falling off the roof and
breaking a limb or passing out in a puddle of vomit, both of which are
linked closer to kegs of beer than bowls of pot.

Since the story-and I use that expression freely-broke, even the
airwaves over Whitehorse are filled with radio hosts wondering if this
will destroy his career.

Why the hell should it?

According to rules laid down by the World Anti-Doping Agency,
marijuana use among athletes is only a concern during a competition,
unlike steroids that, if found in an athlete's system at any point,
can result in retroactive disqualifications.

Remember when Canadian snowboarder Ross Rebagliati was stripped of his
gold medal in the 1998 Olympic Games after testing positive for traces
of pot in his blood immediately following the event? He still got his
medal back because, as the joke goes, reefer is only a performance
enhancer if there's a box of Twinkies waiting at the finish line.

Since the pic surfaced, some of Phelps' sponsors have announced that,
although they don't condone his behaviour, they will stand by him.

But perhaps you're thinking he's now a tainted role model that should
be locked in a dungeon, away from the public eye because this is the
worst thing a public figure can do.

Does Phelps being arrested in 2004 for drunk driving while under the
legal drinking age ring a bell?

Let's do a little comparison. Driving drunk puts yourself and others
in danger; smoking pot puts your diet in danger.

For cryin' out loud, the current US president admitted to marijuana
AND cocaine use in his autobiography. But, arguably the greatest
athlete in Olympic history inhales some smoke from a plant that grows
naturally on six of seven continents and he's gone too far to be forgiven.

Buy a clue, sourpusses. Lets save our condemnation and pedantic
judgments for politicians who are supposed to be leaders in society.

Thankfully, most people seeing this for what it is: a fluff story of
tremendous proportions.

Looking at online responses to the pic, for the most part, the only
people who give a damn-other than fluff-hungry reporters-are celebrity
gawkers and social conservatives still uncomfortable with black people
sitting wherever they want on a bus.

As much as athletes are invariably regarded as role models for our
youth, Phelps spent years training so could swim fast, not lead the
younger generation into an era of enlightenment and world peace.