TAKE A DEEP BREATH, MICHAEL

Any non-team sport needs a dominant figurehead or two to help drive it
forward. At the end of last summer, it seemed as though swimming had
found its ambassador in Michael Phelps. A record eight gold medals won
by a good looking, hard working, young American? He's too good to be
true!

Not so fast. One series of interviews and a Saturday Night Live
hosting gig later, Phelps proved himself to be a jejune, inarticulate
simpleton, whose shallowness lies in stark contrast to the pools he
swims in every day. I rooted for his every stroke, I smiled each time
he won, but I never once wanted to be him.

Phelps also has ghosts in his ghosts of swimsuits, caps, and goggles.
In 2004, at the age of 19, he was arrested for driving under the
influence of alcohol, but wasn't suspended by USA Swimming. But as you
read this, Phelps is currently suspended from his national team. "For
what?" you may ask, but you doubtlessly know by now. A photograph
taken last November hit the newswire over two weeks ago, showing
Phelps smoking out of a bong at a University of South Carolina party.
Over the next few days, Phelps publicly apologized, lost a sponsorship
deal with Kellogg's cereal, and was suspended by USA Swimming for
three months.

To recap: an athlete drives drunk at 19-a crime for which he served 18
months probation-and Team USA lets it slide. The same athlete goes to
a college party and smokes pot-as millions of other college students
do-and his life begins to crumble. Drunk driving and pot smoking are
in no way comparable, but apparently USA Swimming could use a
point-by-point comparison between the two.

There are over 40,000 alcohol-related deaths in the U.S. each year, of
which at least 15,000 occur in an automobile. No statistics are
available for marijuana-related deaths, but we all know that if there
were, they would involve much smaller numbers. Drunk driving is an
action that endangers others, while marijuana-for all its faults-is a
strictly personal vice. One could argue that Phelps showed a disregard
for his own health by smoking pot, but that's nothing compared with
the callous disregard he showed for the safety of others by getting
behind the wheel of a car while drunk.

Suffice it to say that USA Swimming's actions should have been
inverted. Sponsors like Kellogg's should dump Phelps because of the
negative public opinion surrounding his actions, but USA Swimming
picked the wrong issue to make an example out of Phelps. So did
Richland County, South Carolina sheriff Leon Lott's department. To
date, eight people have been arrested for possession of
marijuana-found days later in the house where the party took place.
Lawyers of two of the eight defendants said that the investigation had
been "an excessive allocation of resources fueled by Phelps's
celebrity status." Phelps, however, escaped prosecution due to a lack
of evidence. Believe it or not, USA Swimming and Leon Lott have a lot
in common-an unwillingness to pursue punishment of people who put
others in harm's way, but an alacrity to buy into America's war on
drugs at every turn.

For his fellow simpletons, Phelps's marijuana moment was cause to
proclaim, "See, he's just like us!" For the more cynical, his
red-handed apprehension further proved his imbecility. The stoners
spent hours, if not days, fantasizing about his lung capacity. But,
despite the public's reaction, the photograph doesn't teach us all
that much. Phelps is a young person, and young people smoke pot. My
opinion of him hasn't changed . and . and . whoa, he's a good swimmer.