LET'S JUST TAKE IT EASY ON THE KID

The good folk of Richland County, S. C., can sleep easier
tonight.

The blossom of southern youth has been saved.

The one-man crime wave, formerly known as Michael Phelps, could soon
be doing his laps around the Boss Hogg County Jailhouse.

The good sherriff, Leon Lott, delivered yet another blow to Phelps'
crime subculture with the news this week that his department has
apprehended two renters of the home where the Olympic swimming star
was photographed taking a drag from a marijuana pipe.

Quick. Hide the children. Don't let them see. It's
hideous!

Fortunately in Richland County the mere suggestion that someone
might've been smoking grass results in all out manhunts. Presented
with the offensive photo, Lott said at the time that he wouldn't treat
Phelps any different because of his celebrity. So Munchee Shacks were
busted. All the unusual suspects are being rounded up, including a
renter who was there but says he didn't see Phelps inhale. This is
called the Rebagliatti Defence -- but nobody knows if it works
anywhere south of Whistler. The other renter told police he wasn't
even at the party, held near the University of South Carolina campus.
But maybe that's just the euphoric haze talking. They've now had to
hire lawyers to translate. Now, we already suspected America was going
to pot, but this is ridiculous.

Phelps has been personally demonized, he has been told by Kellogg's
that putting his picture on their product would defile their pristine
corporate image, he has been threatened with arrest and suspended from
his job by the U. S. swimming association.

A Columbia TV station reports that eight people have now been
arrested. All of which sounds like either the sherriff's office
doesn't have much to do these days or it is treating this Phelps case
far differently than it would any other report of a five-month old pot
party.

In the latest statistics, from 2006, there were 38 murders in Richland
County (pop. 320,677), which makes it at least twice as likely that,
compared to living in the GTA, you could be pushing up the daisies
rather than picking them. There were 159 reported rapes, 726 robberies
and 2,420 aggravated assaults. Not to advocate the use of marijuana
but maybe anything that would mellow some of the folks out wouldn't be
a bad thing?

This is not to suggest anyone go buy the kids a bong for their 16th
birthday with a matching dime bag (do they still call them that, or is
my generation showing?) The stuff is illegal and there are
ramifications. But the police obsession -- and the abuse of Phelps by
the public and media -- seems far in excess of the misdeed. The media
and corporate reaction to Phelps' indiscretion smacks of hypocrisy.
There isn't a university campus anywhere that can't be found by
following the sweet scent of cannabis on party night.

Phelps let down fans who expected better of him. But he didn't kill
anyone, or beat up his girlfriend. He didn't get drunk and drive over
someone. He has never, unless Lott is still building the case, been
dogfighting. He is rich. He is a superstar. He is world-renowned. He
is also just 23. A kid.

And kids do dumb things. Let's not make it more than that.