A MERMAN'S FALL FROM GRACE

No More Cereal For This Pothead

OK, gather 'round everybody. I've got some shocking news. You ready
for it? Sometimes, young people experiment with drugs and alcohol.

Shocking, right? Just wait for it; sometimes those young people are
celebrities or even athletes. I apologize if I've blown anyone's mind
to the point of no return.

All right, I'm putting my snarky sarcasm aside for a second. But you
can't really blame me for it. This past week, cable news and the
executives at Kellogg's and Subway have been making me roll my eyes so
hard, I think I've seen the inside of my skull at some point.

Unless your only news source is The East Carolinian (which it should
be), you've probably already heard the scandalous story about 14-time
Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps and his enjoyment of certain
illegal recreational activities. You've probably also seen the
backlash already. Apparently, Phelps' activities warranted not only
banning him from competing, but in some pundits' eyes, his medals
should be revoked as well.

Sound familiar? Students my age and older will remember a similar tale
in 1998 concerning Canadian snowboarder Ross Rebagliati and having his
gold medal revoked after testing positive for trace amounts of
marijuana during the Winter Olympics.

Luckily for Ross, after alleging that the trace amounts were from
inhaling the smoke at a party and not from his own use, his gold medal
was reinstated.

Phelps was not so lucky as the old adage of "the bigger they are, the
harder they fall" can be related not only to his height but his fame
as well. Earlier last week, Kellogg's pulled Phelps as a spokesperson,
as did Subway.

Yet, later on in the week, Subway seemed to have done a double-take
and announced that they would not be pulling Phelps for sponsorship.
Kellogg's, as well, announced that they weren't pulling sponsorship
for Phelps, but instead would not renew his contract (same
difference).

Ignoring the obvious cognitive dissonance of cereal and sandwich
companies dropping sponsorship for a celebrity because of his
marijuana use, the fair-weathered decisions strike me as an attempt to
follow the popular morality with no thought toward the actions these
companies are decrying.

USA Swimming has also punished Phelps for his actions with a
three-month suspension for "tarnishing his image," so I imagine that
Kellogg's and Subway were merely attempting to follow suit.

Yet, by reversing their decision (on the part of Subway) or clarifying
to the point of making the action pointless (for Kellogg's) they give
off the message that they're not concerned with the actions of their
athlete, just what you'll think of them.

What I think this entire ordeal has really shown is that Phelps is
just human. A part-fish/part-giant human, but a human nonetheless. We
raised Phelps up as being a new savior to the dying art of watching
the Olympics by shoving him into the public eye as often as possible,
and we've shunned him just as quickly for an activity that many among
us would argue is as innocent as being caught taking a shot at the
bar.

Sponsors, USA Swimming and even Phelps himself have come out saying
that he has let the public and his fans down. I hardly think that
should be the case.

If anything, our constant need to pry into the private lives of
celebrities and dictate their every actions lest they -- you know, act
human -- has caused us to create figures standing on pedestals that
can never actually exist.

Here's to the hope that this stupid story will die down and the public
will look upon Phelps the way he should be -- as a hard-working,
charming young man.

What he does in his private life, especially when he's not competing,
is none of our (or the pundits') business.