STOP THE REEFER MADNESS!

YOU HAVE no doubt seen by now - several hundred times - the photo of
gold medalist swimmer Michael Phelps sucking on a bong.

As might be expected in our age of manufactured sanctimony, the
pundits have gone into overdrive on the Olympic icon. "This is a sad
day for Phelps," Christine Brennan moaned, in that vaunted organ of
conventional wisdom, USA Today, "and a sadder day for the millions of
parents and young athletes who planned their lives around his races
last August. How disappointed must they be that a glorious hero, a
person in whom they placed their trust, has done something illegal
for which he must apologize?"

Yes, I'm sure all those kids are just absolutely devastated,
Christine. Perhaps we should get them some grief counseling before
they drown themselves in the shallow end. I mean: What a shocker! A
23-year-old dude who's been under intense pressure since he was
wearing water wings actually chose to smoke pot. The horror.

As far as I'm concerned, Michael Phelps now has the chance to
establish himself as a genuine American hero. Not by winning more
gold medals. Those victories, inspiring as they may be, are a matter
of personal athletic accomplishment.

No, what Phelps could do now - with a little courage - is to retract
the phony apology he issued to his fans (at the behest of his
sponsors) and admit that he uses pot in moderation and sees no reason
why such behavior, when practiced by adults in a responsible manner,
should be criminalized by politicians, or vilified by professional
scolds like Brennan.

After all, smoking up in a dorm room is a far healthier response to
stress than getting behind the wheel of a car drunk, as Phelps did
four years ago. That DUI arrest was a legitimate cause for objection.
He could have killed somebody. But getting stoned? In this day and
age? Please. Just a few months ago Massachusetts residents voted
overwhelmingly to decriminalize pot possession. And the people of
Michigan - not exactly a hotbed of radicalism - approved a measure to
legalize medical marijuana, becoming the 14th state to do so.

Politicians spent years trying to make hay over the war on drugs, and
diverting law enforcement resources from violent crime to pot busts.
But the time has come for them to face the fact that the majority of
their constituents no longer view pot as a hard drug. Period.

In fact, the Phelps photo already has done wonders to debunk the
Hollywood stereotype of marijuana users as Oreo-munching zombies.
(See: "Cheech & Chong," "Weeds," "The Sarah Silverman Show," and any
Judd Apatow film ever made.) Phelps may not be a choirboy, but nobody
can accuse him of being a slacker.

Nor do I consider myself a slacker, though I've been smoking
marijuana since I was a teenager. Several of my most ambitious and
high-achieving friends are also part-time potheads. We smoke to
unwind, in the same way others drink a glass of wine with dinner. Big fat deal.

My hope is that pot will eventually be legalized nationwide, and
regulated by the government, which could then collect tax proceeds
from this cash crop. And just imagine the job creation that would
result. Finally, an economic stimulus package most Americans would endorse.

The legalization of pot would also afford Phelps the chance to become
a pioneer in the field of celebrity-endorsed paraphernalia. After
all, who wouldn't want to buy a water pipe officially endorsed by Aquaman?