SMOKING MARIJUANA SHOULDN'T BE A CRIME

Olympian swimmer Michael Phelps and Sheriff Leon Lott of South
Carolina's Richland County are being forced to treat seriously a crime
that shouldn't be one.

As everyone knows by now, Phelps was photographed smoking from an
Olympic-sized bong during a University of South Carolina party last
November. As all fallen heroes must, Phelps has apologized for
behavior that was "regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment," and has
promised never to be a lesser role model again.

Lott, meanwhile, is threatening action against Phelps because... he
has to.

Our marijuana laws have been ludicrous for as long as we've been
alive. Almost half of us (42 percent) have tried marijuana at least
once, according to a report published last year in PLoS Medicine, a
journal of the Public Library of Science.

The United States, in fact, boasts the highest percentage of pot
smokers among 17 nations surveyed, including the Netherlands, where
cannabis clouds waft from coffeehouse windows.

Some of our better-known former tokers include our current president
and a couple of previous ones, as well as a U.S. Supreme Court
justice, to name just a few.

This we know: Were Phelps to run for public office someday and admit
to having smoked pot in his youth, he would be forgiven. Yet in the
present, we impose monstrous expectations on our heroes. Several
hand-wringing commentaries have surfaced the past few days, lamenting
the tragic loss for disappointed moms, dads and, yes, The Children.

Understandably, parents worry that their kids will emulate their idol,
but the problem isn't Phelps, who is in fact an adult. The problem is
our laws -- and our lies.

Obviously, children shouldn't smoke anything, legal or otherwise. Nor
should they drink alcoholic beverages, even though their parents
might. There are good reasons for substance restrictions for children
that need not apply to adults.

That's the real drug message that should inform our children and our
laws, rather than the nonsense that currently passes for drug
information.

Today's anti-drug campaigns are slightly wonkier than yesterday's
"Reefer Madness," but equally likely to become party hits rather than
drug deterrents. One recent ad produced by the White House Office of
National Drug Control Policy says: "Hey, not trying to be your mom,
but there aren't many jobs out there for potheads." Whoa, dude, except
maybe, like, president of the United States.

Once a kid realizes that pot doesn't make him insane -- or likely to
become a burrito taster, as the ad further asserts -- he might figure
other drug information is equally false. That's how marijuana becomes
a gateway drug.

Phelps may be an involuntary hero to this charge, but his name and
face bring necessary attention to a farce in which nearly half the
nation are actors. It's time to recognize that all drugs are not equal
- -- and change the laws accordingly.

Kathleen Parker is a columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group.