MORE TAXING BEHAVIORS

Recently, Gov. David Paterson proposed a "fat tax" as a way to collect
extra money to try to pull the state budget out of a deficit.

As a person who would call himself vertically and horizontally
challenged, I would call this discriminatory. I've come up with a few
ways to help him out. They are as follows:

Raise the taxes on alcohol and tobacco products and excessive auto
dealer, furniture company and prescription commercials.

Legalize the usage of pot, not just for medical use.

Legalize prostitution. Require the providers to be licensed and
require thorough exams for any illness that may be hazardous to one's
health.

Excessive noise, such as when sitting at a stop light and can hear
so-called music from cars behind you.

Mandatory 10-year tax for anyone who has been nailed for alcohol or
illegal drug use, doubled if offense was made in the presence of a
child.

Anyone who gets nailed with their stereo full blast or smoking while
there are children in a moving vehicle.

Too-thin-of-a-person tax.

Excessive tattoos, body piercing, perfume, makeup, nails,
etc.

Grossly inappropriate clothing.

Coffee/flavored coffee, lattes, etc. (regular and decaf
exempt).

Lottery/bingo tax.

Amend the hand-held-to-the-ear while driving to include anybody with
any type of media or food to their face.

Leisure tax: golf, bowling, seniors shuffleboard, etc.

Some may take offense to some of the ones mentioned, or come with
their own.

Timothy G. Helmer

Theresa