MICHAEL PHELPS' PUBLIC STONING

It's true. Recreational drug use has the ability to produce a number
of ghastly consequences - including but not limited to becoming
president, the governor of Alaska, a Supreme Court justice, a member
of the New York Knicks or a fan of "classic" rock.

This week, the media was (in sober tones) obsessing over a shocking
national event: A 23-year-old, single jock was allegedly caught
smoking pot at a college dorm party in South Carolina. Horrors.

In reality, the most startling aspect of the Michael Phelps incident
is that we produced an Olympic superstar dumb enough to place his
gargantuan paws around a bong in full view of dozens of partygoers
equipped with cellphone cameras.

Let's concede, then, that pot isn't for everyone and that the famed
swimmer may want to be a bit more vigilant in preserving his brain
cells. But that's another story.

If you did not recoil in horror when you heard the Phelps non-story,
or ignored the moralizing discussions centered around the
long-running fairy tale of marijuana's tragic effects, you're not alone.

The question is why haven't public attitudes translated into public policy?

Every celebrity-does-pot incident is a good reminder. Our antiquated
drug laws - commonly referred to as the "war on drugs" - waste
billions of dollars, create millions of needless criminal records,
put thousands of non-violent criminals in prison, deny the sick
medicine and involve this nation in needless foreign entanglements,
all the while robbing free citizens of the right to choose.

The late conservative icon William F. Buckley (who once sailed to
international waters to smoke up), said: "Even if one takes every
reefer madness allegation of the prohibitionists at face value,
marijuana prohibition has done far more harm to far more people than
marijuana ever could."

During his Senate run in 2004, Barack Obama endorsed the idea of drug
reform and tepid decriminalization, though he has since pulled back
from that position. It's too bad, because our new president has a
genuine opportunity to bring some common sense to sentencing and more
federal deference to states and cities that choose to decriminalize,
as many have.

As for today, Phelps surrendered to public pressure and offered a
mushy, stonerish apology. Something about engaging in behavior "which
was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment." (Phelps has only won
14 gold medals. Slacker.)

There is, actually, a soaring probability that a young person who
smokes pot never will feel regret. More than likely, the remorse
Phelps feels involves getting caught and potentially losing his
endorsement with Subway (which, some say, should be eaten only after
smoking up).

A survey published in a journal of the Public Library of Science last
year found that - despite spending billions on drug enforcement -
Americans are still twice as likely to have tried marijuana than
citizens of the Netherlands, where it is legal.

Researchers also found that 42 percent of people surveyed in the U.S.
had tried marijuana at least once. How many of them have deep regrets
about the experience?

Just to be clear, I hope my kids avoid drugs - legal or otherwise.
But how can a parent be expected to educate young children about the
factual consequences of drug use when the drug czar and
fear-mongering educators undermine the truth with scary stories?

Indeed, kids may be mentally slower than normal people, but they're not stoned.

Not yet.

For transparency's sake, I should also admit that in my youth, I
inhaled marijuana . . . a bunch of times.

But apparently not enough to be elected to higher office, or to win a
gold medal.