PHELPS PUFF, PUFF, PASSES

During the Olympics, all I heard was Michael Phelps this, Michael Phelps
that. I watched the clip of him throwing flowers to his mom and emerging
from the water screaming in victory edited in slow motion about a million
times.

I saw his mug on commercials, interviews and even SNL. I sat in on an
editorial meeting (Phelps Phever) and we all observed the sick amount of
publicity this one person was garnering despite the amount of phenomenal
athletes present from all over the world.

So naturally I couldn't help but take a bit of pleasure when I logged on
to see what was happening in the news and was directed to an image of
Phelps hitting a bong with an enthusiasm he usually reserves for aquatic
feats.

Just when I thought Phelps could do anything, it turns out he can't 'just
say no' to drugs.

The more I read this story, the more I realized the potential for
pro-legalization groups to cling to it as evidence that marijuana does not
in fact make you a deadbeat or lazy. Michael Phelps smokes weed and he won
eight medals this summer!

One of the reasons I didn't like him much to begin with was that he is
nearly my age. What have I done with my 22 years that is worthy of a gold
medal? If you said nothing, you're absolutely right.

All of this Phelps hype was really making me feel pretty lousy at the
time. I didn't go to a big ten school, have a talent the world would soon
recognize as one of the best or brand myself into a household name. I also
don't drive a crazy expensive Escalade.

So my immediate reaction to the full story was, maybe they should cut
Phelps some slack. Whatever substances he chooses to indulge in when he is
not training clearly haven't affected his performance.

This is where my sympathy for Phelps ends. Regardless of his age, he
should have known better. He made himself into this star and inadvertently
became a role model. If he didn't want the fame, he could have stuck to
his sport and not succumbed to product endorsements and all the other
appearances he made before Beijing.

Remember his DUI? Well yes, Phelps is human and therefore errs, but it
seems the mistakes that cost him the most haven't manifested in his
swimming but in his common sense. Should we just let it slide since he is
so young and such a good athlete?

He has already done the public apology, shed a well-placed tear and gone
through the public redemption process. He has never failed a drug test and
while smoking pot is not exactly kosher - at least in our society - it
does not fall into the type of performance enhancing drug category that
would really ruin his reputation.

Is it just us Americans being too conservative with our drug policy? I
mean, Phelps is not the first important person to be caught green-handed.
Does anybody remember the "I did not inhale" speech among others that
Clinton made?

Regardless of what I think of Phelps, this is a pretty big blow to his
image and the damage has already been done. Phelps knew this when the
first call he placed was to his agent and not his parents or coach.

Overall, the irony of the whole situation kind of makes me chuckle. Here's
this young kid who we love to cheer for because he makes our country look
good and wins a lot of shiny gold circles and then he goes and does
something so blase as to go to a party and smoke a bong within a camera's
range. It's bush-league behavior that we would last expect from a champion
of his caliber.

Do we support him still? Do we condemn him? Should we just legalize weed
and let people make their own choices? Should this not even be our
business since he should have privacy rights? Did he knowingly give up
those rights when he signed on for this?

The questions just keep forming as I hear a new stanza from Afroman's
catchy tune forming in my head to pay a new type of respect to Phelps.

"I was gonna win the gold, but then I got high…I could've broken Spitz's
record…but I was high. Now I'm living in my Caddy, and I know why….yea-ah,
because I got high, because I got high, because I got high…"

Well, I don' know about you guys but I feel pretty good about myself right
now, medals or not.