SLOW DOESN'T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THE PACE OF GOVERNMENT

Slower than molasses in January.

It's the speed of government in the case of too many laws, and too many
lawsuits.

In a highly competitive, computer-enabled age in which only the nimble are
expected to survive, government tucks into its shell of regulations and
oozes along at the pace of a snail. A snail stuck in molasses. In January.

On Jan. 1, for example, the Michigan Department of Community Health was
supposed to begin licensing all tattoo parlors in the state.

It would seem that the department had more than ample time to meet the
wishes of Michigan's Legislature. The tattoo parlor licensing law was
enacted back in 2007.

Yet, it may be another six months before the state department has arranged
the means of inspecting and licensing these businesses.

If it takes that long to begin overseeing this aspect of public health,
how long will it take for the state merely to allow some chronically ill
people to relieve their suffering using marijuana?

Sixty-three percent of voters on Nov. 4 - a landslide mandate - approved
of the "Michigan Medical Marihuana Act."

The law went into effect on Dec. 4, but don't light up a doobie for relief
from the nausea of chemotherapy yet. It's illegal under state law until a
patient has a state registration card, and those may not be available
until April 4.

To be fair, the medical marijuana law anticipates bureaucracy, and gives
the state 140 days to get the ball rolling.

We'll see if the state Department of Community Health can hammer out a set
of administrative rules in time to meet that deadline. Given the delays in
the tattoo rules, we aren't overly hopeful.

But the slow grind of the state's bureaucratic machinery is nothing
compared to the continental creep of our courts.

Late last month, the federal government announced a settlement - finally -
in its nearly 14-year Clean Water Act case against Midland developer John
Rapanos. Rapanos and other defendants agreed to pay a $150,000 penalty.
Rapanos must also construct 100 acres of wetlands and buffer areas to
compensate for 54 acres that were filled in.

This dispute, centered in Bay County's Williams Township, is over
something that was done more than 20 years ago.

We're not sure if this is a world record in a slow race toward justice,
but it surely must be a contender.

What good is government that is so slow that it moves at a barely
discernible speed? When laws are enacted and go into effect, yet a
paralyzing bureaucracy stalls the will of the people? When justice delayed
is justice denied?

The proposed administrative rules regarding medical marijuana, for
example, received a public hearing last week in Lansing. State police
officials said they didn't want any part of a proposal to have troopers
destroy legal growers' excess marijuana plants.

They suggested that growers be responsible for following the dictates of
the law, and destroy the plants themselves or give the stuff to other
registered patients.

Score one for trying to keep it simple.

It's the kind of lesson in simplicity that all government officers and
offices need to learn.