DRUG USERS SPEAK TRUTH: DOPES DO DOPE

Long-time marijuana users say the drug can make smokers stupid, which
always seemed to me like silly, anti-drug hysteria. But after watching
a group of kids smoke pot last weekend at Point State Park, I'm not so
sure.

Breaking several of my middle-aged entertainment rules at once, I
actually bothered to a.) leave the house on a week night, and b.) do
so to attend a rock concert. After watching literally hundreds of
bands during my 20s, I now tend to find the atmosphere, if you can
call it that, at large concerts just slightly more bearable than a
weekend with the in-laws.

Both involve long periods of time spent with people you neither know
well nor like very much, filled with unwelcome sights, noises and
smells. The latter is what got my attention at a concert by Canadian
rock band the Tragically Hip.

From a few rows ahead came the sweet, unmistakable odor of
marijuana.

The folks making like Cheech and Chong were a cluster of hippie-ish,
twentysomethings kids who appeared influenced by legendary tales from
the heyday of stadium rock. You know, the days when no one worth their
macrame stash pouch would attend a rock concert without first inhaling
more cannabis than a Rastafarian on Bob Marley's birthday.

The problem is, those days are as faded as the cover of a
double-gatefold Parliament Funkadelic album. Concert tickets cost far
too much money to waste on being wasted. And in today's political
climate, risking years in jail for smoking a joint in public goes way
beyond the mere stupid.

But the kids in front of us could not be deterred. After first
lighting their tiny, hand-rolled cigarette, they quickly doused it
when they spotted someone in the crowd who "looks like a narc."

Minutes later, they decided to smoke under a large, fuzzy blanket.
This worked for approximately 30 seconds, at which time one of the
kids must have realized it was a bit conspicuous to send smoke signals
from the middle of Point State Park.

While they could have easily have waited until they got home to toke
up, in the course of one hour, this poor joint was extinguished and
re-ignited more times than the J. Lo/Affleck engagement. Between
watching out for the cops, stumbling around in the dark and trying to
look cool, I don't think these kids got anything for their troubles
besides burned fingers and bad breath.

Which, I guess, is why they call it dope in the first
place.