GETTING OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE WITH THE NDP

If you're a fan of maturity, then you've probably been disappointed by
this federal election. In one corner, the Conservative Party of
Canada. When their war room isn't putting up online ads that show a
bird taking a shit on Stephane Dion, candidates are jokingly wishing
the death of an opposition MP.

The Liberals aren't much better. So far, their defence is pretending
that their one bold policy statement-the Green Shift-was a crazy idea
that all of us imagined. Their offence is telling the world that
Stephen Harper is a bad scary evil man, a strategy that worked wonders
for them last time.

You would think that out of this leadership vacuum might rise the New
Democratic Party, what with a strong set of centre-left policies, and
a leader who can actually inspire a crowd. You would be wrong.

Take the resignation of local NDP candidates Kirk Tousaw and Dana
Larsen. Earlier this month, Tousaw, a former campaign director of the
provincial Marijuana Party, was nominated here in Vancouver-Quadra.
Larsen, himself the former editor of Cannabis Culture Magazine, was
nominated in West Vancouver-Sunshine Coast-Sea to Sky Country. In the
past week however, both of them have "resigned," after realizing that
they would be a "distraction" for the NDP in the election.

Of course, that's not really what happened. What happened was that a
few old videos surfaced on the Internet showing the two candidates
enjoying our provincial pastime, and that was the effective end of
their candidacy. Because to the NDP, it's completely fine to advocate
for the legalization of marijuana, but it's not fine to actually, you
know, light up. At least when the camera is rolling.

Even somebody blitzed out of their mind can figure out the hypocrisy
here. The NDP fully knew the backgrounds of these two candidates, and
did nothing to stop them from attaining the nomination. But lately,
sensing an opportunity to supplant the Liberals as alternative to
Harper in many parts of Canada, they decided they needed to pull an
Eliza Doolittle and appear respectable to the middle class. This
leaves the NDP in the peculiar position of supporting InSite,
decriminalization of marijuana and a less militaristic approach toward
drugs, while ousting any candidates who have lit a joint.

It's always been the NDP's problem at the federal level. Sometimes
they want to be the conscience of the nation, taking bold stances on
big issues, saying what many privately think but are too timid to
publicly advocate, and appearing principled and honourable even when
75 per cent of the country disagrees with them. Other times, they
yearn for respectability, have visions of slightly enhanced
legislative power, and blatantly pander to the centre of the political
spectrum. And all of the time, they appear laughably hypocritical and
unfit to govern or lecture the country, precisely because of a
never-ending identity crisis.

So kudos to you, NDP. We were getting worried there for a moment that
you guys might actually appear halfway mature this election. But hey,
if in three weeks from now, some UBC students still want to get high
in the morning and vote Layton in the afternoon, you won't have a
problem with that, will you?