Monday, March 10, 1997 =B7 Page A19
=
=A9
1996 San Francisco Chronicle=20
Letters: chronletters@sfgate.com

Will Dope Lose the War?=20

ARTHUR HOPPE

CALL ME A PATRIOTIC FOOL, but after watching several days of ABC'=
s
monthlong ``March on Drugs,'' I rushed down to sign up. I was lucky enough=
to be sworn
in by General Carey (Mad Dog) McBaffrey, the grizzled commanderinchief=20
of the nation's War on Drugs.=20
The General cut a dashing figure in his steel helmet, jackboots
and tunic emblazoned with medals dating back to the Battle of=20
Berkeley in the '60s as well as his treasured citation for just saying no t=
o
Nancy Reagan.=20
It was good to see a military man in such an ebullient mood.
``I've been proudly stamping out drugs for close to 40 years,'' he told=20
me, ``and never has victory been so within our grasp.''=20
``That's great news,'' I said. ``Was ABC's `March on Drugs'
turning the tide?''=20
``It's one of our most stirring marches so far,'' he said. ``Thos=
e
salvos about drugfried brains ought to scare the bejabbers out of these=20
young drug addicts. Couple that with our zerotolerance slogans like
`Smoke a Nail, Go to Jail,' and these kids will know there's a wa=
r
on.''=20
``Think they'll turn themselves in?'' I asked.=20
``By making drugs a despicable criminal act, we figure they'll at
least own up to their parents,'' he said.
``We're counting on mutual trust, especially if there's a home
drug testing kit in the house.''=20
``Good thinking,'' I said. ``But will victory be achieved by
simply bringing the family closer together?''=20
``Not on your life,'' said the General. ``But we're developing
more firepower every day. Why, 20 years ago we had to scrape by on a=20
measly annual budget of $700 million. It's a wonder we could make a single=
=20
pot bust. Today, we have more than $16 billion a year to throw at the=20
enemy. So we're really showing results.''=20
``Drugs are losing?''=20
``Actually, teenage drug use has increased every year for the pas=
t
five years,'' he said, ``but we're solving the problem when they become=20
adults. In 1994 alone, we arrested 1.5 million people, half a million=20
more than the year before. That's a record to shoot for.''=20
``Sounds like a good growth industry.''=20
``You bet,'' said the General. ``In the past decade, California
built 19 more prisons and wasted money on only one state university.''=20
``I guess you needed them.'' The General nodded. ``Look at the
toll we're taking on the enemy,'' he said. ``In the last five years for whi=
ch=20
figures are available, the number of whites we jailed in state prisons=20
rose 110 percent, Latinos 300 percent and blacks 420 percent. In federal=
=20
prisons, 60 percent of the inmates are serving time on drug charges.''=20
``You're an equal opportunity incarcerater?''=20
``And we're not sexists either,'' he said. ``The number of women
prisoners has jumped more than twentyfold since 1979.''=20
``I guess the future looks bright,'' I said.=20
``Does it ever,'' he said. ``Every day, we're recruiting hundreds
more police, border agents and prison guards to serve in the front lines. A=
t=20
our present pace, we ought to have a couple of million Americans behind bar=
s=20
in no time at all.''=20
``So you can see the light at the end of the tunnel?''=20
``Yep,'' said the General, squaring his shoulders, ``only 250
million more Americans to go.''=20

=A9 The Chronicle Publishing Company