Why stop at demonizing a legal substance like tobacco? Fat is probably worse.

By BRUCE HERSCHENSOHN

It's just a question of time. Since heart disease is the greatest killer and
high cholesterol is the leading cause of heart disease, some day soon there
will be a classaction suit against McDonald's and the entire fastfood
industry. Someone will claim that McDonald's is to blame for that terminal
condition. There have been no health warnings on their hamburgers. Worse
than that, the suit will say McDonald's has been targeting children in their
ads and with attractions like playgrounds on the premises and special meals
complete with toys. The chief villain is, of course, Ronald McDonald, who
makes Joe Camel a piker.

That's going to be the quick consequence of state governments and the
federal government establishing the precedent of supporting hate campaigns
against a legal substance. Tobacco is chickenfeed.

"Now, wait a minute," someone will say. "Big Macs don't create an
addiction, like cigarettes!" Oh, yeah? I'm addicted. I have at least one
cheeseburger a day and have done that throughout most of my life. How did
this terror start? I hate to admit it, but it was when I was a kid. I'm not
to blame. "They" did it to me. How was I to know?

There's something else I feel compelled to bring up on behalf of all those
who have been ensnared into this pit of disease: The costs to society for
all these hamburgerrelated ailments are tremendous.

That, of course, is the consequence of programs that are socialistic. Once
the taxpayer is compelled to pay for the choices made by another, the
government can take jurisdiction over the entire industry that the
government feels is responsible for those costs.

In sympathy with those, like me, who were hooked into all this by a legal
substance, I hope the president mandates heavy restrictions and regulations
regarding the advertising of those fastfood horrors, restrictions on
Tshirts, comic characters, logos, posters at sporting events and color
advertisements. The devil with the 1st Amendment! Health should always
supersede the Constitution.

And this shouldn't be the end of it; it should be the beginning of it. The
evidence of many other legal substances causing disease is
overwhelming. Leading journals continually confirm this. The London Times
printed that "research has linked high consumption of hot dogs with an
increase in childhood leukemia." The same newspaper also reported that "it
has been recognized since 1970 that licorice taken in quantities can cause
high blood pressure, sudden cardiac arrest, congested cardiac failure and
more." To be consistent in the terminology in smokingrelated diseases, we
should say that leukemia is a hot dogrelated disease, and cardiac arrest is
licoricerelated.

What started all this, of course, was government's involvement with
antismoking campaigns and regulations. I have a confession. I'm not only a
cheeseburger addict, I smoke. I started smoking when I was 18 and it wasn't
because of advertisements or logos or posters or cartoon characters. It was
because, like millions of others in the military in those days, a
representative of the U.S. government encouraged me to smoke. "Smoke 'em if
you got 'em!" was the phrase yelled out by my commanding officer. The first
time he said that, while I was standing in formation with nothing to do, I
didn't have them. The next time he said that, I made sure I did. In this
litigious society when everyone is being sued because of a "smokingrelated"
disease, some day the U.S. government may well be the subject of the biggest
class action suit of all.

Are my addictions commensurate with addictions to hard drugs? Please! I know
countless people, even those who were chainsmokers, who quit smoking and
every one of them did it by stopping "cold turkey," while hard drug users
generally have to go to a rehabilitation center. Cigarettes do not alter the
mind or cause hallucinations or make the users drive or act recklessly. When
cigarette prices were above my budget, I didn't think of stealing to get a
cigarette, let alone murdering someone. In fact, no matter how much I may
have wanted a cigarette, I wouldn't even have walked a mile for a Camel. It
wasn't worth it. (It must be kept in mind, however, that as a Californian, I
would have driven a mile, but I wouldn't have walked more than a couple
blocks at most.)

Anyway, I think I'll sue someone. I've been taking terrible risks by my
eating and smoking habits. In truth, I've taken much greater risks in my
life than those two habits, but I can't think of anyone to sue over them. Do
you know a good lawyer?

Bruce Herschensohn Is a Distinguished Fellow With the Claremont Institute