WAR ON DRUGS AKIN TO ROOF NO ONE WILL FIX

Got a leaky roof? Call Drug War Roofing Company.

In keeping with the war on drugs theme, Drug War Roofing Company reminds
all customers:

Ninety percent of your leak will continue indefinitely.

DWR can't stop the leak. You know it. We know it. Heck, we admit it in
advance. You insist on paying us anyway.

Our motto: "If it keeps just one kid from abusing a leaky roof, it's
worth it."

Federal law dictates that you use our approach to roof repair. There is
only one way to fix a roof. All loyal Americans know this.

Go ahead and complain. DWR will ignore your complaints and hire more
people to produce the same results all the while charging you a higher
rate than we did last year.

Employees taking bribes? Corruption? Murder? Innocent bystanders
caught in the crossfire? It's all in a days work at Drug War Roofing.

Don't you worry. DWR will bend the U.S. Constitution like a mudstained
rainbow and place the U.S. military right in your own backyard. The
military isn't trained to repair roofs, but it sure looks good on our
resume.

We at DWR firmly believe that it is our moral duty to escalate our efforts
no matter the fee, regardless of the consequences. We are going to stop
the rain at its source.

We're just a phone call away. That's 1 (800) GET SOAKED.

John Wilson