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METH ADDICT KICKED HABIT

'I could not do life and drugs at the same time'

SAN LUIS OBISPO Even though Kristen Mautz comes from what most people
would consider a "good" middleclass family complete with two parents, she
was not immune to the allure of methamphetamine.

The 22yearold Cuesta College student said March will mark her fifth
anniversary of quitting meth. She often shares her story of addiction,
recovery and hope with local teens as an Americorps mentor.

Mautz spoke last week to about 60 Paso Robles High School students, after
counselors asked her to help them deal with a growing crisis of meth use
among teens.

By the time Mautz first tried the drug as a 12yearold, she'd already
experimented with alcohol and marijuana. She got her first hit from her
friend's parents.

Within a couple months, she was hooked.

"I kept going back for more," she said. "I realized (meth) was what I
wanted to use."

As a 5foot, 9inch eighthgrader, Mautz said she often felt left out of
the crowd. Taking meth seemed to change that, giving her a newfound
confidence.

"It filled an emotional void," she said. "It took away that feeling of
insecurity I had.

"It was like I wasn't missing out on anything, like I had it together."

But of course, she didn't. She couldn't.

The stimulant has the dual effect of decreasing appetite and increasing
energy. Mautz wound up eating less and exercising more, and lost about 30
pounds.

"After that, you just get tired," she said.

Mautz said the crash comes soon after that first good high.

"Your first high is the best high, and you keep searching for that. But it
will never be the same, because your body builds an immunity to it."

Mautz found that it began to take more and more meth to satisfy her
cravings.

"I had a $100aday habit as a 15yearold," she said.

That's a huge amount, she noted, since $20 worth is enough to get a handful
of people high.

About that time, she was arrested for possession of meth and was kicked out
of high school in Southern California.

That was the first time her parents realized Mautz was using drugs.

She entered a drug rehabilitation center that required her parents to
attend counseling sessions.

Mautz said the program helped for a while.

"It planted the seed. When I was ready, I could get clean."

But she wasn't ready just yet. That didn't come for another two years,
after Mautz went back and forth between being sober and using meth.

"When I was 17 I realized it wasn't going to work," she said. "I could not
do life and drugs at the same time. It was one or the other."

Mautz chose life, and started attending 12step recovery programs.

Today, she tells students it takes twice as much time and effort to stay
clean as it does to do drugs.

"I changed my friends, stopped going the same way home from school and
stayed home with my parents a lot. I just kind of sucked it up."

She credits her parents for helping her realize she had a reason to get
clean.

"It doesn't matter what I go through, when I come home I know my parents
are supportive of what I'm doing."

Her recovery includes a regimen of meetings and informal talks with teens.

"The more I talk about it, the more healing I have."

As a result, the cravings stopped about two years ago.

"I just appreciate things a lot more now," she said. "I'm not hopeless
anymore."

More than anything else, that's the message Mautz wants to get across to
the teens she counsels.

"That's what I see in a lot of the kids. They're just hopeless. They see
the way they are now as the way they have to be the rest of their lives.

"It doesn't have to be that way."

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