PARENTS MUST CONFRONT THEIR CHILDREN OVER DRUGS

There are giveaway signs in children's behaviour indicating abuse of drugs.
The problem for parents is recognising them. As PADRAIG O'MORAIN, Social
Affairs Correspondent, reports, a new course may help parents in their
struggle

Coolmine House, a voluntary organisation which has worked with addicts
since 1973, says parents who want to protect their children from drugs must
be prepared to "get in the way" even if it angers the children.

The group has recently organised a new course, the ParenttoParent Drug
Prevention Workshop, to encourage parents to notice changes in their
children's behaviour which might be linked with drug use.

"There is no place or village around the country where there are no drugs
available," says Ms Marie Byrne, national coordinator for the course.

According to course facilitator Ms Maureen O'Connor, changes to look out
for could include:

* The child begins to mix with people whom the parent regards as undesirable.

* A good student loses all interest in homework.

* A child who was always particular about clothes stops paying any
attention to how he or she dresses.

* A child begins to sleep very late in the day.

* A child expresses the view that he or she could handle drugs without
being damaged by them.

Parents must have the courage to make a stand in their children's interest,
says Ms Byrne. "Sometimes you have to love them enough to be strict around
certain areas," she says, "such as saying you can't go to that party
because there are drugs and alcohol there."

Parents are afraid to ask their children about drugs in case they look
foolish or upset the child. But the message of the course, she says, is: if
they get upset, so what?

People who use drugs should not be let into the house, she says, and
parents should insist on knowing where their children are.

What if the child threatens to leave home? "When a child says I am getting
out, say 'Will I pack your bags now or in the morning?'," says Ms O'Connor.
And what if the child really goes and gets into serious trouble? Just
because a child is at home does not mean he or she is safe, she insists.

"I know at least three young people who committed suicide in their own
homes because they couldn't get money for drugs.

"The child will say 'you don't trust me'," adds Ms Byrne. "The answer is
trust is not given out free, it's earned.

"The parents want to be their child's friend but you can't be their
friend because their friends don't mind them staying out all night," she
says. "You have to be their parent."

Even areas which don't see themselves as having a drug problem can benefit
from the course, says Mr Brendan O'Sullivan, a course facilitator in Co
Monaghan.

"We are parenting in a drugs age," says Mr O'Sullivan. Educating parents
and families about drugs is one of the most effective ways of preventing a
drugs problem from taking hold in an area, he says.

Coolmine charges #240 per week for each group taking the course, regardless
of the number in the group. The cost is often subsidised by schools or
other sponsoring bodies. The number of people in a group ranges from 12 to
35.

People interested in doing the course or in getting information on the
issues mentioned here can contact Ms Byrne at Coolmine House, Lord Edward
Street, Dublin 2.