GROW OPS ARE FOR GROWN-UPS

A Montreal daycare was closed Monday because of flooding caused by a
marijuana-growing operation.

The Yeshiva Gedola daycare on Pratt Street in Outremont was forced to
close on the weekend because of a leaky pipe originating from the
floor above, where the illegal grow-op was uncovered. Source: Canada.com

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to say how outraged I am after reading this news item
last Monday. As a mother of three, I can understand how parents
across the country must feel. While it seems that we live in a fairly
liberal society where we respect the rights of our children, there
are some things that should remain sacred. No matter how many reasons
parents might give, there is just no excuse for letting toddlers run
a large-scale marijuana grow op.

Yes, of course I understand how growing and nurturing marijuana
plants can be fun and how it provides kids with both a sense of
responsibility and respect for nature (especially in today's
increasingly urban environment). And yes, I agree that administrating
the production and distribution of illicit substances teaches the
value of entrepreneurship (not to mention the fact that using a
day-care as a front is absolute genius), but we have to ask ourselves
one important question: do eight-to-10-year-olds really have any
business growing weed?

Honestly, I'm sure you parents out there know how it is. I can't even
get my 10-year-old Keith to keep his dirty socks out of the hallway,
let alone trust him to deal with the scheduling and maintenance of a
3,000-plant drug operation. It's hard enough keeping track of where
my little babies are, who they're with and what they're doing (don't
get me started on their late-night border runs with the Mexicans and
Indians). Even when they're home, spending all their time chatting on
the Internet, you're still worried that the person on the other end
is really some sick pervert. With that and their beepers going off
every 15 minutes with another friend looking for a hook-up, it's
enough to give a mother a conniption!

Sometimes I look at how young girls dress today, with their midriff
shirts and make-up, and think these little ones are just growing up
too fast. When I was eight, all I wanted was a Barbie Dream House and
an Easy-bake oven. These days it's "I need a new cell phone!" or
"Mommy, can I get an iPod?" or "Mommy I need a new 1,000-watt MH
light to replace my HPS one!" Honestly Holly, do you even know the
difference between a metal halide and high-pressure sodium light?

In my day, we didn't have these fancy-pants automatic money counters
they have now. We did it all by hand: counting off the 20s one by one
and having a verifier count off to make sure no one was skimming.
Back then, you'd only start learning about germination of marijuana
seeds at 13, then, if you were lucky, maybe by the time you were 16
you'd get a summer job working the massive weed fields up north for
the bikers. Those were the days, basking in the sun, picking buds by
day and laughing around a campfire at night while men armed with M-16
assault rifles kept a careful watch around the perimeter. The long
days toiling in the sensimillia fields taught me the value of a good
day's pay for a hard day's work, and the unsettling paranoia of
knowing your entire family would be slaughtered if you opened your
mouth to the feds taught me never to snitch.

I look at these young whippersnappers and wonder, "Do you even know
what to do when mature leaves turn yellow and then become spotted
with dark gray edges?" I doubt it (FYI it's a potassium deficiency,
and you need to add muriate of potash). Nowadays it seems that
they're teaching kids about inducing flowering with a 12/12 cycle
before they can even tie their own shoelaces. What does that say
about us parents? Really, we are the only ones to blame.

With so much pessimism and cynicism in the world, a child's fragile,
innocent state is perhaps one of life's last little treasures, and we
must preserve it as long as we can. Couldn't we find simpler and more
appropriate ways of keeping them busy and teaching them about
business? What happened to opening up a roadside lemonade stand, or
selling cookies door-to-door, or working in a meth lab?

I think our kids have enough problems to deal with, thank you very
much. Besides, how do we expect to get primo shit when a bunch of
kids are running the show?