AT CHURCH MEMORIAL TO SLAIN S.F. TEEN, HER IMAGE IS FRESH IN MOURNERS' HEARTS

Orange was everywhere. Sheila would have loved it.

There were bouquets of tinted carnations and roses, flickering candles,
flowing scarves and ribbons of remembrance -- all in the 17-year-old's
favorite hue.

But for the hundreds who filled Holy Name of Jesus Church Thursday morning
to remember Sheila Patricia Detoy, who was killed in a police stakeout gone
awry, it was a heartbreaking reminder of the girl who colored their lives
so vibrantly.

"I once asked Sheila why she liked the color orange so much," said her
friend Tara Kitami, choking back tears as she spoke before the crowd.

"She said, "Take a look around, Tara, do you see orange? I am your
blessing, you can always remember me because I brought the orange color
into your world,' " Kitami said.

The mourners sat in the same wooden pews where Detoy often prayed during
her years at the adjacent Holy Name elementary school, where she received
the sacraments of confession, first communion and confirmation into the
Catholic Church and where she became one of the first girls ever to be an
altar server at the church.

They remembered her as a free spirit who loved to watch sunsets at the
beach, swim in the Russian River and vacation in Hawaii, and who was
planning a summer trip to the brilliant beaches of Cabo San Lucas.

Although her body had already been interred, her presence radiated from the
pictures and collages erected on easels.

With her hallmark elbow-length cascade of hair and petite frame, the image
was so familiar, so fresh, that it was still difficult for many at the
memorial service to come to terms with the fact that she was really gone.

"She hasn't died," said her step-uncle, Ron Amiot. "She lives with all of
us. She's a typical little teenager, the sweetest girl. There are no words
to express what happened."

In more than half a dozen eulogies, friends and relatives described her as
smart, sensitive and athletic, especially when it came to team sports like
basketball and volleyball. They also spoke of her pride in being born a
Scorpio and of her desire to open an ice cream shop someday.

And they tried to make sense of the tragic circumstances surrounding her
death May 13.

Detoy was in the passenger seat of a gray Mustang when police cornered the
car in an attempt to arrest on drug charges one of the two men she was
with. Believing that the driver was trying to run them over, police fired
into the car.

One of the bullets hit Detoy in the head, killing her instantly. After a
chase, the car came to a crashing stop on Sloat Avenue, where the men
carjacked another vehicle and fled, police said. One was later arrested;
another remains at large.

"She was at a point in life where most teenagers are confused," Frank
D'Alfonsi, a family friend and lawyer, said in his eulogy. "Mistakes are
the rule, not the exception. She was trying very hard to succeed, and she
wanted to do it on her own. She wanted to stand on her own two feet.
Unfortunately, she never got the chance."

Bouquets and blossoms were in abundance at the church -- which was filled
to standing room only -- serving as a perfect reminder of the themes of
spiritual resurrection, said the Rev. William Quinn, who conducted the
memorial Mass.

"Sheila has gone on before us, but the fragrance of her life remains
behind," Quinn said.

Robert Vernon, who worked with her at the Java Beach Cafe, said Detoy would
have been touched by the outpouring of love -- and orange -- in her honor.

"With her personality, I think she's probably enjoying all of this in her
own way," he said.

The principal of Holy Name School allowed teachers and the seventh- and
eighth-grade classes to attend the service because many of them still
remember Detoy, who graduated from the school in 1995.

Detoy was accepted and enrolled at St. Ignatius College Preparatory school,
but was unhappy there. Friends said she felt self-conscious because she
came from a working-class family and her father died when she was very
young. She transferred to the Immaculate Conception Academy in the middle
of her sophomore year, but stopped attending classes after that. She
eventually earned her general equivalency diploma.

©1998 San Francisco Examiner

Checked-by: Mike Gogulski