WE'LL BLUSH TO TELL OUR GRANDCHILDREN

The news is more interesting when you read it very carefully.

Careful reader Dan Machak points out a paragraph in yesterday's Chron story
on the shut-down of Dennis Peron's pot club by S.F. Sheriff Michael
Hennessey.

The quote is from Eileen Hirst, Hennessey's chief of staff.

``There wasn't very much marijuana -- maybe two big handfuls,'' Hirst said.
She said it took 30 to 35 people until noon to finish the inventory.

Followed, no doubt, by a giggle-filled, two-hour lunch break across the
street at the donut shop.

Easy prediction: Someday the closing of the med-pot clubs by the feds will
be looked upon with at least a tiny bit of the type of wonderment and shame
we feel now when we see old photos of ``Colored'' drinking fountains. ---
Democrats are giving literal meaning to the thousand-dollar-per-head
fund-raiser.

At yesterday's Barbara Boxer luncheon at the Fairmont, with Hillary R.
Clinton speaking, you paid $1,000 for a head of lettuce.

Reports John Konstin of John's Grill: ``Great speaker, but lunch was a few
pieces of lettuce, a few pieces of sliced, cold chicken, no iced tea, no
Coke, no refills on water.''

In other words, no service except the Secret Service.

John shoulda done what Henny Youngman did when he dined out -- tell the
maitre d': ``I'd like a table near a waiter, please.''

And in other big political news, Al Checchi's campaign people tried to stage
a spontaneous rally in North Beach one recent morning and just didn't stir
up much support.

``North Beach at 10:30 in the morning? Nobody is up,'' says Ed Moose of
Moose's restaurant. ``Everyone knows that. This guy calls himself an
Italian?'' ---

No, if you take Viagra, you will not be shot in a high school cafeteria.

On the KPIX 10 p.m. news last Friday, the story on six Viagra-related deaths
was accompanied by video footage of a body being carried on a stretcher.
(And thanks for the tip, Lois McLean.)

Ooops. Someone decided to illustrate the Viagra-deaths story with video from
the Oregon school shooting.

``It was totally inappropriate, a big screwup,'' KPIX news director Daniel
Webster told me yesterday. ``Our producers are very distraught, and we've
put in some procedures to make sure this kind of thing can't happen again.''

Wow. Honesty and contrition. A bungle handled with dispatch and dignity.
There's hope yet for TV news. --- I'm no conspiracy theorist, but is it
possible that Bill Clinton played a behind-the-scenes role in speeding the
development and marketing of Viagra? Not that Bill himself needs the stuff.
But since Viagra came out, how many Monica jokes have you heard? The
national obsession was instantly diverted from Bill to the pill.

People continue to be fascinated with the ultimate recreational drug.

``In a neat twist,'' Matt Regan says, ``Viagra produces pharmaceutical
firms.''

Ken Warner grumbles about potential drug abuse: ``Using Viagra without a
valid medical condition seems somewhat like stepping up to the plate with a
corked bat.''

Phil Gravitt says, ``I understand that the working name for Viagra in
development was `seven-ELEVEN.' ''

Washington Post columnist Tony Kornheiser asked for suggestions for a brand
name for Viagra. Tony's favorite: Magic Johnson.

And if the Viagra-makers need a slogan, how about borrowing the call made
famous at the Indy 500: ``Gentlemen, start your engines.''

Checked-by: "Rolf Ernst"