CASE FOCUSES ON GRANDPARENTS' ROLE

PORTLAND Ore.--Ken Whitted kidnapped his granddaughter. He admits
it. He even showed up at the sheriff's station to tell them his plans
and leave behind an address.

He claimed 8 -month-old Shelbi was neglected, that she'd go days
without a diaper change, that her mother -his daughter -used
methamphetamine and was known to smuggle drugs in the baby's car
seat.

"Handcuff me now because I will not take this baby back to her
mother," the 47 -year-old former youth pastor told police before
taking the girl from Albany, 75 miles south of Portland, to his new
home in Arizona.

They did, days later, arresting him on kidnapping charges.

But rather than being condemned for the criminal act, Whitted has
emerged as a symbol for grandparents who say they have no rights in a
system heavily weighted toward keeping children and parents together.

"They feel the only way to protect their grandchildren is to take
matters into their own hands," said Ethel Dunn, who heads the National
Coalition of Grandparents in Madison, Wis. "The problem does not lie
with the grandparents, but with the agencies who won't listen."

Dunn said millions of Americans can relate to the plight of a
grandparent who believes his grown son or daughter is involved with
drugs and who fears for the safety of the grandchildren.

Their ranks are growing. Conservative estimates put the number of
children being raised by a grandparent at over 4 million, based on
U.S. census figures.

In Oregon alone, 1,800 children are in foster care
with relatives, mostly grandparents.

Across the nation, in meetings and Internet discussions, grandparents
are organizing to lobby for legislation that would give them more
clout in gaining protective custody of grandchildren.

Whitted, who did not respond to an interview request, has said that he
took the desperate actions only after months of futile attempts to get
authorities to intervene and after informing police and others of his
plans.

The former drug dealer-turned-born-again Christian said he became
concerned when his daughter began to drop off Shelbi for visits that
were supposed to be several hours but often stretched into weeks.

When he and his wife, Barbara, suspected that the child's diapers
weren't being changed, Whitted said they marked them with ink and
found Shelbi sometimes went days with soiled diapers.

The daughter, 24 -year-old Stephanie Tasa, became pregnant at age 14
and married her 21 -year-old boyfriend. She calls her father "a sly
con artist" who is strangely obsessed with Shelbi.

Tasa has admitted using drugs but denies being an addict; she has
never been convicted of a drug offense.

Whitted said he contacted child protection officials about the alleged
neglect and abuse, but was told he must provide evidence that would
stand up in court.

It's the same message for many grandparents who come forward with
concerns that their children's behavior threatens their
grandchildren.

"Going through the system is utter hell," said Rena Edelen, 58, who
got in a bitter fight with her drug-using daughter before winning
custody of her two grandchildren. "Most of us feel like we're banging
our heads against a brick wall."

But child welfare officials say they are legally obliged to try first
to place the child with the natural parent -often a frustrating
situation for other relatives who have concerns.

"They may feel we're not moving fast enough or not following their
wishes," said Robert Crawford, a program coordinator for Oregon's
child welfare agency. "It's not that we don't want to place with
grandparents, but in every case there are legal parents that we have
to deal with."

For grandparents, the complexities don't end with custody. Edelen, who

runs an Internet discussion group for grandparents' rights called
Grands Central, said there are complex social implications that go
along with such arrangements.

In addition to the responsibility, raising grandchildren means giving
up retirement, dealing with PTA meetings with parents half their age
and switching from the part-time grandparent role to full-time
caregiver and disciplinarian.

Underlying everything, Edelen said, is the guilt of raising a child
that didn't grow up to be a good parent and insinuations from others
who question their parenting abilities.

"They say apples don't fall far from the tree,"

Edelen said. "But sometimes they roll downhill all by
themselves."

Nationally, some changes are slowly underway to provide resources to
grandparents. A bill was passed last fall that helps formalize kinship
care, giving grandparents more rights if the child has lived with them.

And Oregon recently was awarded two $200,000 grants to set up kinship
care programs to help grandparents and other relatives find
information on everything from custody to financial resources.

For Whitted, who now works as a hair stylist in Lake Havasu, Ariz.,
the changes likely won't make much difference.

He is no longer facing jail time -he pleaded guilty to a lesser charge
of custodial interference under a settlement agreement last month and
will serve two years' probation.

But his attorney says it was a hollow victory.

Among the terms of his probation, he is to have no contact with the
little girl he says he was trying to protect.

"He wanted to see his family healed and felt this was the best way to
do that," said attorney Johanna Witzig. "But he's lost contact with
both his daughter and grandchild and that's not a victory in anyone's
eyes."

Copyright Los Angeles Times

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