NOT ALL VIAGRA CUSTOMERS GET SATISFACTION

Viagra users have found, shall we say, a new zest for life. And their
partners are thrilled. So what could be bad?

Plenty. Complaints range from being worn out to being unimpressed. Partners
have been jilted and even assaulted.

Here's a roundup of some of the drug's unexpected side effects:

* An 89-year-old man, Larry Demorest of Orlando, Fla., was accused of
clubbing Kimberly Heariet, 34, with a crowbar after she refused his
Viagra-induced advances. He was charged with attempted murder.

* Roberta Burke of Garden City, N.Y., filed a $2 million lawsuit claiming
that Viagra broke up her longtime relationship with Francis Bernardo, 70, a
retired construction executive. Burke, 61, had planned on spending the rest
of her golden years with Bernardo and enjoying their sexless relationship.
After Bernardo popped a Viagra tablet, they had sex for the first time in
four years. Two days later, he walked out, leaving a note boasting of his
sexual prowess. Bernardo now has a new girlfriend.

* Many marriages have ended, according to Sandi Bunting, who co-ordinated
clinical trials on Viagra for Dr. Stephen Auerbach of Newport Beach, Calif.
``They were using impotence as a way to save their marriages,'' Bunting
says. ``As in, `If only I weren't impotent, everything would be fine.' ''

On the bright side, the drug has put a little excitement in many
relationships and created a field day on the talk show circuit.

* Sex therapist Dr. Marilyn Volker of Miami says: ``My husband took Viagra
last night for the first time, and when my friends saw me this morning, they
said I was positively sparkling.''

* Conan O'Brien of Late Night joked, ``Kmart and Wal-Mart are having a
low-price war over the impotency drug Viagra. In fact, some people are so
excited about the low prices they no longer need the drug.''

* A doctor in Atlanta got writer's cramp after filling out 500 prescriptions
in two weeks. Now, he's using a rubber stamp.

* And as could be expected, Dr. Ruth Westheimer weighed in on an emerging
sexual issue of our times: ``I don't want to sound like a Jewish grandmother
who said I told you so, but I've said that unless the pill is coupled with
education and sexual literacy, I predict a lot of troubles.''

Checked-by: Melodi Cornett