WIN THE WAR ON DRUGS: SIC BUREAUCRATS ON CARTELS

So far the war on drugs has been fought with law-and-order people.

From the cartels down to bottom-rung street pushers, the drug business has
had to worry about the FBI, the CIA, the Coast Guard, drug enforcement
agencies and state and local police. These agencies have been, at best,
ineffectual.

The answer, I believe, lies elsewhere - in the world of federal regulation.
Let us say that the now-illegal drug business is legalized and brought
under the full control of the Washington bureaucracy. The paperwork alone
would surely cripple drug dealers, but this is only the beginning.

Suppliers would have to comply with the built-in quicksand of affirmative
action, which could have sucked down the Titanic before it hit the iceberg.
For instance. . . .

They would have to prove that half their street salespeople were women and
furnish figures proving they employed representative numbers of blacks,
Latinos, Asians, Eskimos and Irish Protestants. Failure to comply would
result in fines and possible suspension of activities.

Warehouses and offices would come under the jurisdiction of the
Occupational Safety and Health Administration, which would check closely on
heating, lighting, air conditioning, insulation, electrical wiring,
plumbing and proper posting of safety bulletins.

There would be ongoing inspections of stairways and handrails. The drug
dealers also would have to provide parking spaces, wheelchair ramps and
appropriate lavatory facilities for the disabled.

The product would, of course, need to be packaged with appropriate warning
labels. Management would have to offer medical and retirement plans, paid
vacations, maternity leave, overtime pay, insurance, sick leave and child
care. They'd have to follow the minimum-wage laws.

If the drug dealers haven't already been regulated out of business, bring
the Internal Revenue Service into the picture - tax them into oblivion.

When laws for criminals fail to work, we can take advantage of the rules
and regulations that have been suffocating honest people since the days of
the Great Society.

Nor would the drug traffickers be free from the pressures brought to bear
by organized labor. When the government recognizes the United Brotherhood
of Dope Pushers as the official bargaining agent of the industry,
management will have to deal with this organization and face it in federal
court.

It is one thing to tiptoe past the FBI, but another to confront a labor
union with the federal government looking on.

The Medellin Cartel might find its way around American law enforcement, but
it has never butted heads with bureaucracy. A government director fighting
for next year's budget can crush an international crime ring as though he
were stepping on a snail.