TO HECK AND BACK

ACTOR GARY BUSEY REPENTS FOR HIS DRUG-RIDDLED PAST

PASADENA: Gary Busey, the hell-raising, motorcycle-crashing, coke-snorting
actor who has spent most of his 54 years burning bridges, is finally dead
and buried -- or so he says.

``That's where I was before -- in the dark,'' says Busey. ``I'm in a new
place now.''

The Oscar-nominated star of ``The Buddy Holly Story'' and acclaimed villain
of ``Under Siege'' and ``Lethal Weapon'' nearly died in a 1988 motorcycle
accident and again in 1995, when he overdosed on steroids, cocaine and
tequila. Last year sinus cancer had Busey swearing he had seen the Grim Reaper.

``I was pretty ruthless, belligerent, nasty and evasive,'' he admitted to TV
critics here. ``I would walk through my grandmother's blood to get a postage
stamp. I'm a full-blooded Christian now. It's important to say, `I'm sorry I
did that,' just for your own good.''

E! Entertainment, the cable network, has a two-hour special on his life
scheduled for Aug. 2. In it, not only does Busey 'fess up, but so do old
pals such as Willie Nelson and Cheech Marin, whom he encouraged to tell the
truth about him on film.

Busey remembers the time he snorted spilled cocaine off the dog's coat. If
he didn't have the money to buy more drugs, his pals would keep him
supplied. In the meantime, he says, ``I wrote a lot of hot checks.''

Dark side of fame

Busey swears he didn't get into drugs until he became a star acting and
singing in ``The Buddy Holly Story'' in 1978. He says pushers came out of
the shadows. He says he doesn't blame anyone but himself for letting it turn
him into a cokehead.

Once a lanky, blond drummer with the Leon Russell and Willie Nelson backup
bands, he began to make a name for himself in movies after his debut in
``Angels Hard As They Come,'' a 1971 biker flick. He specialized in bikers,
surfers (``Big Wednesday''), outlaws (``Barbarossa'') and all-around tough
guys. Now and then, he'd get a saner role, such as coach ``Bear'' Bryant in
``The Bear'' (1984) or a DiMaggio-style ballplayer in ``Insignificance'' (1985).

But after he started taking drugs and putting on weight -- he hit 245 pounds
at one point -- he was mostly cast as bad guys.

All the while, says Busey, it was ``the darkness talking to you -- an evil
influence, saying, `Let's do this!' '' Now he visits juvenile halls and
youth groups, telling the kids that cocaine may make you feel like a genius
for 20 minutes, but it leads you into hell.

Reversal of health

Busey remembers taking off all his clothes and looking at his jiggling,
flabby body. ``I was kind of a gray, pasty color,'' he says. Still, he says,
``I have the constitution of a government mule,'' and today, after three
drug-free years, he's thinner and has a light in his eyes that gives a new
look of hope to his wasted features.

``I've done the steps'' -- 12-step programs like Alcoholic Anonymous --
``and done the duty,'' he says. ``I'm walking the walk.''

Busey just finished an independent film based on Mordecai Richler's ``Jacob
Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang,'' which he describes as an inspirational
tale. He's looking for a project in which to co-star with his son Jake
Busey. He doesn't rule out playing slimy characters again, but he hopes to
play roles with some kind of spiritual value.

Coming back won't be easy, he admits: ``I have a reputation bigger than the
state of Texas that precedes me.'' Still, he believes Hollywood is a
forgiving town, and he hopes the E! special will renew interest in him.

It already has served to remind him of where he's been.

``I'm not like what you saw there,'' he says of the ruined man displayed in
the documentary, ``but it's interesting to see what I used to be, so that
I'll never go there again.''

Checked-by: Melodi Cornett