AS FOR DRUGS, BASEBALL IS FULL OF BEANS

There's just one thing left to say about this Mark McGwire debate:

Beans.

That's right, beans.

As in, coffee beans.

That's what they call them in baseball. That's what they call their big,
dirty secret that you never hear a word about.

What are beans? That's an easy one.

They're uppers. Speed. Amphetamines. Players put them in their coffee and
drink up about an hour before gametime.

And it's going on in a clubhouse near you. Right now. Every day. In every
city. With every team.

One current baseball executive, who happens to have a medical background,
estimates that 25-30 percent of the players today use amphetamines, which
happen to be illegal unless prescribed by a physician. Of course, the only
thing uppers are usually prescribed for as we approach the year 2000 is
narcolepsy.

It would be a cheap shot to suggest the Cubs have been asleep for the last
90 years and probably could use the help, so we won't even mention it.

The point is, while a quarter of all players - or perhaps many more when
you include the more popular off-the field hallucinogens - are using
illegal drugs, a lot of people have been pounding Mark McGwire for
supplementing his workout regime with a perfectly legal, over-the-counter
potion.

The stuff McGwire uses, androstenedione, may not even work for all we know,
and it certainly has nothing to do with hitting home runs. He takes it an
hour before he works out, and it supposedly allows harder training of
muscles and a quicker recovery.

He doesn't take them before a game, as do the bean-counters, and even if he
did, it wouldn't matter.

Anyone who knows anything about baseball knows that muscles have nothing to
do with hitting home runs. Home runs are all about bat speed and quickness.
It's about hand-eye coordination and the ability to recognize the spin on
the ball and the location of the pitch.

Meanwhile, hundreds of players are "beaning up'' before games to get a lift
with hopes of focusing better, being more alert and getting a jolt to
enhance their performance.

"For some guys, they think it helps them mentally,'' says one American
League player. "Some guys think it helps them physically. I tried it and
one day I almost went through a dugout railing chasing a foul ball. I guess
that day I had a few too many beans for breakfast.''

So if you want something to be upset about, stop peeking in Mark McGwire's
locker and start wondering why baseball doesn't have a drug-testing policy.

And wonder why everyone in baseball looks the other way while players get
addicted to illegal drugs and use them even after their careers end.

And wonder why the players association does everything in its power to
avoid a drug-testing clause in any collective-bargaining agreement, while
every other union in sports supports the idea.

And stop with the idiotic suggestion that Mark McGwire would own a tainted
record because he uses muscle-building or muscle-enhancing products.

Ernie Banks was the skinniest man in baseball when he hit 512 home runs.

Babe Ruth was the fattest man in baseball when he hit 714 of them.

And Mickey Mantle was the most hung over, probably unable to even lift a
weight, but he managed 536 home runs.

So if you want to imply that by putting chemicals in his body McGwire may
someday pay a heavy price with his own health, you are undoubtedly right.
There's no argument there.

But it's a personal and legal choice, and it's unfair to criticize McGwire
for that. And if you've noticed, players like Sammy Sosa have gone out of
their way to say "leave McGwire alone,'' because there are a lot of glass
houses out there and no one's throwing stones.

Before you jump on Mark McGwire's substantial back, you'd better know what
you're jumping into.

Know that your favorite player probably is on something, too.

"It was probably as high as 90 percent in the early '80s as far as guys on
speed,'' says the baseball exec. "It's way down from that now, but there
shouldn't be any of it. Why is there no drug testing? That's what I'd like
to know.

"But no matter what, you have no business looking in a guy's locker.
Whether he's got nude pictures or pink toilet paper or legal drugs, its
nobody's business. What they should look into is 'beans' because that's a
serious problem.''

If 25-30 percent of the players in baseball are on uppers, then do the math
for the home run hitters. Twenty players already have or are near 30
homers, so probably 5 or 6 of them are getting an illegal boost. Which ones
are having their cake, and drinking their coffee, too?

Maybe one of them is your hero. Maybe he's playing in your town.

Just before he hits a home run, he might be the one saying, "Bean me up
Scottie, I need a lift.''

And it's high time baseball did something about it.

Checked-by: Pat Dolan